Looking for a different face,
Different time, different place,
Making up her own space
In the city lights
Selling off her heartache
So she could at least make
Enough so that she could take
Off on sleepless nights
"City doesn't do it for me"
"I want people to adore me"
Searching for the wrong fame
And who's she got but her to blame?
Streetlights luminate her stage
Guitar strings her sillhouette
Slowly creeping up her arm,
Slowly closing on her neck
This is not her stardom street
Life's not fair, it's just too hard
She's suffocating here, on
Bright Hollywood Boulevard
Chump change, make a living
On what strangers feel like giving
Except for that she's still not fitting
Into her career
Trying to find the day
Where she'll find her strength and say
"It's time for me to get away,"
"Far away from here"
'To where, to where,' the seagulls cry
As off and up and far they fly
Mocking her to leave and find
The city lights she'll leave behind
Streetlights luminate her stage
Guitar strings her sillhouette
Slowly creeping up her arm,
Slowly closing on her neck
This is not her stardom street
Life's not fair, it's just too hard
She's suffocating here, on
Bright Hollywood Boulevard
A place where I can start again
A new beginning, same old end
Here I am, a brand new home
A new street I can call my own
Hungry strings and open case
Find someone to fill my place
I'm gone across the continent
But everything's the same
I still haven't changed...
Streetlights luminate her stage
Guitar strings her sillhouette
Slowly creeping up her arm,
Slowly closing on her neck
This is not her stardom street
Life's not fair, it's just too hard
She's suffocating here, on
Bright Hollywood Boulevard
Bright Holywood Boulevard
A contest entry
- Please, I want your best! by Cat10.
850 points, ended May 3, 2008, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~☻~ Society Sucks! So What!?! ~☻~ by Shassidy.
525 points, ended May 25, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Mr.Comment Box needs the change you feel like giving him! Please, be generous and give a lot... :)
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Impressive Potential
Beyond the inevitable tweaking that accompanies - or should accompany - talent as it matures and reviews individual lines or at times complete(d) works is the readers recognition of one 'wise beyond her age'.
There is no generosity in this comment ... a statement of fact which should be highlighted and framed with greater recognition as wild wolves run ahead of the pack and grow with the flow
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This is a great piece! I really like the ideas expressed in this as well as the flow and the rhyming in it. This actually reminded me of two songs: "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day and "Hollywood Died" by Yellowcard. This has a lot of really powerful imagery and ideas and I really liked it. My favorite parts are the first and third stanzas because those have really powerful lines, flow, and rhyming. I like the repetition of the name "Bright Hollywood Boulevard" at the end and how that is separated from the rest of that last stanza because it makes that line/name powerful and is a great concluding line. I like the title, although I think it would work better if you added "Bright" to it. In any case, great job and good luck in the contest!
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I re-read this piece after I wrote it and laughed; it's very "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"-ish. I DO like that song, maybe it had some part in these lyrics's creation? Even I'm not really sure.
I thought about adding 'Bright' to the title, but decided against it. I don't want to give people the wrong impression.
Anyway, thanks for the review!
-Vivian
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thanks for entering! this was a great poem! I really liked the refrain! you did a nice job! good luck in the contest!
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i like this alot. goes to show you that life is hard and that it is hard to change your path even when you want to. great poem!
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Woah! you're never on. Suprise, suprise. Well, honey, thankee kindly for the review; I always lovez'em so much. Gracias!
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this sort of reminds me of Boulevard of Broken Dreams. ANYWAYS...i like it (as usual). but this time i cant say good luck, since its not in a contest. But....i can say it anyways....GOOD LUCK!!!
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Yer such a wierdo, lovely, but thanks for the luck anyways.
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