arms wrap me in your
warmth feels like
fresh hot towels from a
drier
wrapped in your
warmth, i cling to you,
just as a pre-teen leeches
to her first love,
attached
at
the
hip
yet i run, hoping
and praying you won’t make
me feel any more special or
loved, just like every other
girl
but i am drawn to you
like an old poor starving
man is drawn to a
bright red poisonous apple
waving in his face
he knows it’s poisonous,
just as i know i will never
truly have you
you dangle in my face and
i cannot resist, (your warmth)
i grab hold of an apple
as the poison releases into my veins
it feels amazing
just as heroin gives a high that
cannot be explained
people tell me i shake with
convulsions and i
foam at the mouth but i
wait for the second rollercoaster
hill, the second high
i get as you bring me
back to life
hold back my
hair and make me realize
This
Is
Reality
you and i entangle at
the hip, heated, in a sauna
and swim in a pool of sounds,
because i took one bite of a
poisonous red-apple
i was tempted
and though it was my choice
i seem helpless
i feel
the poison slowly reach my throat
as my lungs close and i collapse
because not every time does your warmth
save me, bring me back to life
not every time is there a second hill
my body feels amazing but my
head is screaming from the
PAIN
feels like skin (ripping) as its
dragged (from a car) across the
Pavement.
inspite the pain, the warmth of your arms invites me in,
as i cling to you, hoping you will never let me go, but as you
release your arms and send me out in the world, i long for
those feelings, i long to taste the poison
filled apple and reach that
second hill as
You
Bring
Me
back
to
Reality
A contest entry
- Free Verse, No Line Limits, Subject - TIME... by Cupcrazy.
1000 points, ended January 15, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Well this piece although filled with emotion, tells me the emotion rather than lets me feel it, if that makes any sense, I guess it does has a relative to my topic time, but it is not exactly what I was hoping for. Thank you for the entry nonetheless. Hugs, Bunny
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I'm not gonna lie, Angie. This is a good poem. very well written. and thats A LOT coming from me, cuz i don't usually like poems that don't rhyme, i like rhymes... you have no rhymes in this one and I STILL like it... two thumbs up. haha, I think I can relate with this poem, just a little bit
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i dunno if i would change anything. i have to say, though, i kind of ache for that clarification of what the poem is actually about. is it a poisonous relationship? a relationship that never went where you wanted to go? does it have to do with drug use or something? there are a few hints that lead me to these conclusions but it's all pretty darn ambiguous. but that's poetry for you and perhaps it's part of the art. but if anything, that's the only thing that feels like is missing. some sort of clarification. i feel like there's a little whole that needs to be filled. but other than that i just love your words and structure
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WOW
i did not expect how this turned out. at first, i am filled with these lovely first love feelings and it made me feel all mushy! it reminded me of how i clung to my husband this morning before he left (we won't be seeing each other for quite some time) but then it changed. this poisonous apple. and i like how the more you mentioned this apple, the darker the poem got. it's quite beautiful and you've taken your reader on quite the roller coaster, too! i also love the structure. it rolls up and down like a roller coaster and it has these quick intensities. good feelings. feelings of fear, anxiousness as we reach the top and then those quick plummeting words, the ones we have no choice to read. the ones that bring us back down to reality. wonderful wonderful work!
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hey, thanks for the comment! do you think it needs any changes?
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Does Reality mean a life without Love?
I feel you have the right angle, and show potential for some excellent pieces. The reality is - we all make mistakes with our own brands of poison, the recovery is all about learning. Thanks for your comment, but 'morbid' doesnt quite tell me much about the point you are trying to make to me. As I could use it to describe this very same poem you have written
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