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Home Sweet Home

The house of human emotion
is comprised of many a room.
Some well lit and comforting,
Others filled with gloom.

One room filled with silence -
the hush of strangled voices.
Choking on their impotence
from making unfit choices.

One room filled with chaos -
loud incoherent screams.
spewing out mass insanity,
while chewing up our dreams.

One room filled with anger -
shrieking hatred burning red.
Dripping thick with venom,
ignoring everything that’s said.

One room filled with anguish -
sobbing tears within the night.
Crying out into the darkness,
wishing only for the light.

One room filled with desolation -
crushed hopes echo there.
Empty shells of forgotten dreams
float heavily through the air.

One room filled with only hope -
the spark that never died.
Despite visits to the other rooms,
it is here the poets reside.

For poets are the broken hearts,
now healed enough to care.
We illuminate the other rooms,
for the broken lingering there.

Author notes

POY, It is my firm belief that poetry sheds light and offers hope to those dealing with difficult situations.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Night Hope gold member
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    P.S.

    You were my 50,000th comment, by the way.


  • Mystical-Gardenia
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant!! Inspiring!

    The impeccable rhythm here is as astounding as the content your delivery is amazing gaining your meassage the illumination it so deserves! Thank you for sharing this absolute gem

    May your widsom continue to flow in your poetic wonder!!

    Wishing you much success in all of your endeavors!

    ~Myst~


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Youa re so very correct... I agree whole-heartedly...I resemble this poem's thought. Bravo!


  • Night Hope gold member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "One room filled with only hope -
    the spark that never died.
    Despite visits to the other rooms,
    it is here the poets reside."

    I agree, whole~heartedly...thus, the origins of my screen name & my motto: "Hope brings light to the darkness". I earned it the hard way. This is a lovely penning, rife with wisdom. Poetry has been my mainstay for 35 years. It's certainly helped keep my china intact. I hope you did well in John's contest, Poet. And thanks go to Richard for bringing your talent into my view. Wanda


  • Jim Berkheiser
    January 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There are meter tweeks needed in the fourth stanza. The impact was dulled for me as you inserted yourself in the closing stanza. I feel you'd finish stronger subbing "They" for "We". I think your title is very weak. "The Lighted Room", "Light Verse" or anything similar would have been better.

    Clarity: 10.0

    Structure: 9.0
    (rhyme & meter)
    (line breaks & structure)

    Grammar: 10.0

    Punctuation: 10.0

    Use of Language: 10.0

    Poetic Value: 10.0

    Uniqueness: 10.0

    Impact: 9.0

    Theme: 10.0

    Title: 6.0

    Total: 94.0


  • trista gold member
    January 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Yes...


    ...but I wish the imagery was just a tad bit more concrete. I'm really not sure how this will fair on my scoreboard and hesitated giving a yes. However, the theme has been given a fresh spark of originality I can't ignore for its brilliance. There are many other areas it excels in as well.

    Good luck and best wishes,
    ~J.

  • Jim Berkheiser
    January 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Yes

    Good luck.


  • Arkbear gold member
    January 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Yes ~

    Theme is brilliant ~

     

    I can not comment, per say the Rules ~

     

    I would like to see more of your work Poet ~

     

    I wish I had met your talent a long time ago ~

     

    Good luck to you in the POY contest ~

     

    Bear ~


  • ZachP
    January 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Yes~

    You took a pretty common theme, and twisted it nicely
    Not bad at all, poet.

    Good luck

1 - 9 of 9