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Wednesday

Wednesday comes around
like a freight train,
burrowing into my skull.

Wednesday brings dark skies
and merciless rain
which pierces through my soul.

My Wednesday should bring
forgiveness or forgetfulness
for all I have ever done,
but-

Wednesday is like a demon
pouring salt into my wounds,
trying to undo me.

Wednesday brings a wrecking ball
tearing at these fragile walls
quite indiscriminately.

Author notes

POY

Theme: Just another day of the week...

Give me a critical thought.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • trista gold member
    January 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    No

    Again, very close! You had me all the way up until the "pouring salt into my wounds" line. It's one of those comparisons that has just been done soooo many times. I love your other similes, imagery, and how easily I too can relate to the poem.

    Thanks so much for bringing your talents to the POY. I sincerely hope you'll join us in future PO contests, where you'd receive more in-depth critiques of your work.

    Best wishes, and good luck in all your writing endeavors.
    ~J.

  • Jim Berkheiser
    January 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    No

    Earlier poems sronger.

  • Arkbear gold member
    January 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Yes ~

    I can not comment, per say the Rules, but I just wanted to say....I almost said No to this entry, as it will have a hard time placing amongst the top 6 Trophy spots.....but.....I have been surprised by my scoreboard more than once ~

     

    Good luck!

     

    Bear ~


  • Zach.
    January 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Yes~

    So very relatable

    good luck