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Crumpled to the Floor




Zoey tip-toed
past the ten toes
of that horrid man -
his hair stuck in blue-black across
his round face -
to where her dress
crumpled to the floor,
too late to save it
from the wrinkles,
too late.

A minute later,
shoes in hand,
she slipped out the door,
and told herself
it was all the same -
sleeping with her ex-husband
or some prick
from Trenton.

Whatever pays the rent.

She has a daughter

in New Hampshire
growing up with
someone else's name.

Walking home that night
in the spotty light
of neglected streetlamps,
Zoey saw a tattoo -
something tribal -
in a window down on Central,
and decided life was just as it should be.




A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Saffron gold member
    January 13, 2008
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  • jantastic gold member
    January 11, 2008

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    Nicely done, I like the use of place names or other identifiers in poems, gives them a reality of sorts. Man, I've been so bad at reading much for far too long. Curses to work.

    I almost wanted "tippy-toed" to go with Zoey, but I think it would be a bit too juvenile perhaps in this. Maybe not.

    Hi Scott, happy 2008.

  • ocerus
    January 5, 2008

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    WOW!!! Scott, you do have a way with the blatantly painful and allusions to things we can all appreciate - even if we don't want to! BRAVO!!! - oce


  • Mari Goes gold member
    January 4, 2008

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    You are good writing poems as this one. Have almost forgotten how good you are. Nah, I haven't.


  • poetryality silver member
    January 3, 2008

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    Ah! You've got me Scott...the first word did it. I have always..always loved the name Zoey! I want a granddaughter names Zoey. My children don't care for the name so I may have to settle for a puppy! LOL


    You move the reader to want more. This character took on a life all her own, and I am sure there are more tales to tell. Excellent! Your work moves, it sways and places the reader in the scene. As usual, a poem to remember. Thank you for the entry in Zayra's contest. I wish you the very best!


    Much Love & Many Blessings ♥

    Renee


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 3, 2008

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    I agree with Zayra, you do have a way to write real-life poetry, to give the reader a story that they can see and feel - and still make it poetic. I liked this and I liked where you took the contest theme as soon through Zoey's eyes. Thank you for this entry!

    ~ Nicolette


  • Heart Sutra
    January 2, 2008

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    You have a gift for story and emotion all wrapped up together in a poem.

    Thank you for sharing this with the contest.


  • friarcracker
    December 31, 2007

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    stanza 4, describing the daughter in new hampshire was my favorite. however, i think it also contained the most stock image - the one of the picket fence. using a more specific or un-inventible detail would give it more of a sense of identity and subsequent disconnect when you find out that she's growing up with a different name...

    ex: beneath an heirloom quilt

    that's the idea, only yours would be better...

1 - 8 of 8