All aboard
My heart is setting sail,
I'll take you through the storm
To calm another gale.
Hold me close
Don't be afraid my love,
I'll take you from this place
To heaven up above.
Stay with me
Your worries will unwind,
Follow me I'll lead the way
And we'll leave this world behind.
Close your eyes
Just hold on tight,
And we will float away
Into the night.
A contest entry
- ~Come and seduce me.... by Nature Song.
575 points, ended January 1, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From December 2007 by amaranthine lover.
800 points, ended January 11, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i find this very dreamy, kinda all smooshy.
well written
ang -
This is a sweet piece, that I do have to admit, but to me it kinda seems flat throughout the entirety of the piece. That is because it lacks oomph to me, you need a bit more imagery or some other type of literary device to really spiff this piece up, only then do I think that you would have something spectaculars to showcase around, thanks again for entering
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wow this poem is just wow lol sorry but that is all i can say
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Don't be afraid to set sail my love! I'll take you from this place,to the heavens above. Lovely lines! Good luck in my contest ~Sie
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