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Tsunami

It was boxing day two thousand and four
and holiday makers bathed upon the sunlit shore
shore .Folks were there from many a nation
All come to enjoy a short vacation
Small children with buckets and spades in their hands
Parents lying stretched out on the  tropic sands
All come to escape the winters cold
Little realizing what was to enfold

When suddenly without any sign
Appeared on the distant skyline
A monstrous wave which in record time
Filled the sky and with a mighty roar
Deluged down upon the hapless shore
And with the weight of natures wrath
Destroyed everything within it’s path
And leaving scatted in it’s wake
The helpless victims that it chose to take
Then lifting with apparent ease
Heavy  trucks on to the tops of trees
And in the turmoil cries of anguish
Sobs of grief
As lifeless bodies are discovered underneath

Rows of lifeless bodies
Lying in the scorching sun
Queues of hopeful hungry people
Waiting for the aid to come
Hundreds of little children
With disentry or worse
Through drinking dirty water
To satisfy their thirst

Helpless victims clinging to the trunks of trees to stay afloat
Some clinging desperately to a floating upturned boat
Some who were swept right out to sea never had returned
As were scores of fisherman
Whose boats were just upturned
Their bodies later washed ashore
Upon the sunlight sands
Just a few more victims at Tsunami’s bloodstained hands

Author notes

JUDMC Option no.5 historical event "The Tsunami"

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Andantino gold member
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    Even though the lines of this poem vary in length, it flows smoothly when read aloud.
    You covered the aspects of the story well, the prologue, when the tsunami hit, and the aftermath. I noticed some typos and misspellings along the way; I suggest you read through the poem slowly to find those errors.

    All in all, a good effort.

    Danni


  • ZachP gold member
    October 19

    Edit | Reply
    Dear poet, you have captured this tragedy quite vividly. Your use of imagery and your storytelling skills are quite unrivaled.

    However, the break on the first line looks somewhat awkward. This is something you may want to look at; as it dominated my attention.

    Thank you for sharing, I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
    Zach Estel.

    • judmc
      October 19
      Edit | Reply

      ZachP

      Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Tsunami" I have altered the first line
      it was one of my first poems and I was just learning to type.I'm Pleased that you liked "The Pit" I have written quite a few story poems mainly with happy endings
      ....Best Wishes...and... Kindest Regards....George....


  • Dryad Enya
    October 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is the second piece i've read on the Indian Tsunmia of 2004 Boxing day now and most certainly the better of the two. Not by much though, both pieces are very good, deep emotonal and they really do get acros those feelings of terror as the waves came. There were a serise of earthquakes before the 'great wave' however, they ha an epicenter of 9.0 magnituide, lol I work as a marine bioligest/oceanographer so I know these thigns.

    Best of luck
    Dryad Enya


  • Three Doves
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    Even though the event was tragic and filled with sadness, with beauty your words spoke with clarity. A good harmony for poetry.
    Three Doves


  • anaisnais
    April 16
    Edit | Reply
    Well done, you write clearly, showing the distruction and grief caused from this wave, and highlight how unprepared as a world we are when tragedy strikes...You'd think we owuld be prepared quicker for getting aid in...Great job poet! Morning Dove 'hug''rose'


  • LittleMoon silver member
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    A very vivid picture you have painted here with your words. Such sudden devastation as nature chose to remind us that we are nothing much in the grand scheme of things, if we continually refuse to respect that we are but one tiny part of the circle of life. Sheila


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed the poem. The rhyming style and meter was a bit eclectic, but it worked. The story was very clear. I do not often make suggestions on poems but I feel that the intial impact of this poem would be greater if you changed the first two lines a bit.

    I suggest:

    T’was boxing day two thousand and four
    And holiday makers bathed upon the sunlit shore .
    Folks were there from many a nation

    I liked the poem alot.

    Mike


  • upperworld06
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    sad. you hear a lot about what happened but you really painted a picture hear. only thing i can say to fix is in the last line you forgot the T in Tsunami. good job and good luc


  • SignifyingNothing
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I remember the tsunami. :-( This is a good poem capturing its horror. At times the rhyme seemed a bit forced- it may actually have been a bit more powerful if you let parts of it just flow. I really think its a great poem though, and I hope you don't mind the suggestion. I only make suggestions when I think the poem is good and it's only my humble opinion. This was very powerful, and sad, and made me think of the tragedy. Thanks for entering my contest, and congratulations on the trophies.


  • Florida Sunshine
    July 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I am familar with this event, and you did a terrific job in conveying it. The rhyme and rhythm of the read was very well done.

    Thanks so much for entering the contest -- It was my pleasure reading your work. Your an excellent poet with your skils.

    Best of luck to you,
    Florida Sunshine


  • mwilson50
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Conveys the devastation

    Pretty effectively. Hard to decide which is worse, a flood that stays and stays, ruining everything, or a tsunami, which surprises and kills even more ferociously. Thanks for entering this!

  • Atrus
    May 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was such a horrible event :-( so it is good and right to preserve it in poetry with such sensitivity. And with all of the specific and detailed pictures you gave in these stanzas, it was easy for me to picture the faces of the victims. Good memorial poem, thank you


  • Hermit Risin
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very well written, it expresses the scenario very well.


  • everyone1 gold member
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting Telling!

    Sad event that you spoke of well...

    Best of wishes in the contest!

    ~ james ~


  • FlipperSwitch
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good story-telling! For such a well known disaster I think you did a very good job at retelling it. Thanks for entering.

    • judmc
      May 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      nothinglovecantheal

      Many thanks for your kind comments on "Death Row"
      Best Wishes and Kind Regards George ++++

    • judmc
      May 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Risking Regret

      Many thanks for your kind comments on "Tsunami"
      Best Wishes and kind regards.George


  • BrokenWings...Fly
    March 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    "just a few more victims at Sunami's bloodstained hands..."

    whoa... this write really tells how it was... when the tsunami hit. it WAS extremly devastating, and you depict that very well. I also love how you made this rhyme. it makes it flow very well. niaish(thank you) for sharing this write about a truly sad moment in history.

    nicely done.


    -Rayne


  • rbruce gold member
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very good write about a very sad subject. We humans may have made an atomic bomb, but its just a candle compared to the unleashed power of Mother Nature. Great poem.

  • davidwright silver member
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An excellent piece of work documenting that fiasco. Mother nature can certainly raise hell when she likes. I can almost hear the roar of rushing wate ...I'll return again to read some more. Happy trails neighbor.


  • Teresa UK
    January 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dreadful day, the day of the Tsunami. And the aftermath, the stories... You record it sensitively and thoroughly. Great work. I wrote one too, on the same subject. I imagine many did!


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    December 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to All Poetry

    Wow! This is such an amazing poem! The destruction of the Tsunami was devastating and your imagery in this piece captures all of it!
    A really stunning piece!

    If you need any help her eat AP please don't hesitate to contaact myself or any other online Greeter./ We are always willing to help
    Gaylene

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