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The Hardness Test

The sun came up on the spacious earth
The waves were high—a good time to surf
I just returned home from my place of birth…

O Most High, you know my fear
It’s much deeper than losing my hair
I cling to the knowledge that Your help is near

And an elderly woman said:
“Oh, dear. Oh, dear; come over here”

Our bank of concern is bare
With angst so powerful, “Who cares?”

O Most High, why is it said:
“A man’s not supposed to cry?”

I think there’s something wrong with our eyes
And people are crying, “Why?”
I’m so scared of a heart that’s hard and dry

Let me soak for an hour in a lake of proof
I’m not wrangling after someone else’s truth
And wouldn’t mind a drink from a fountain of youth

I sense 3 fears:

     Fear
          Fear
               Fear…


I have silent meetings with a heart in here
It still pumps, but is it aware?
Don’t go hard on me now, squeeze out a tear…

In a list

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 25 of 25
  • let me soak for an hour in a lake of proof

    I'm not wrangling after someone else's truth,

    this is wisdom

    we all have our truth

    have faith and you grow.

    awesome incredible write my friend


    • AsIThink
      May 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for this wonderful comment. I really do appreciate your encouraging, positive visits to my pages. You are very generous to me.

  • ears2hearyou gold member
    April 27

    Edit | Reply

    Cleverly done....

    you tenderly peeled thru the layers, and we were pulled
    into each line and verse, fellow souls understanding
    completely the shedding process of the heart...
    the silent meetings of the heart!
    wonderfully done!
    BRAVO! BRAVO!
    ears/Seattle

  • Wow! There is some powerful imagery here and some deep truths that are beautifully portrayed!

    • AsIThink
      March 25
      Edit | Reply
      Hmmmm...thank you so much for this great comment. Wow, I feel honored by your words. Thanks for the time you spent on/with this write.

  • jbbrandi
    March 14

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good! I liked the line "Let me soak for an hour in a lake of proof". Definitely one of my favorite poems! Awesome job!


    • AsIThink
      March 14
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. Really appreciate the great comment. This is one of my favorite comments (lol).
  • Randy, fine job on this one. I too can relate to what your shared in this poem. Nice job!


    • AsIThink
      March 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks again. I'm really impressed by your positive encouragement and feedback.
  • stiljnxd
    February 25
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    powerful writing.nice job.


  • madamcb
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. With a write like that I sense tears can come. I can relate to many of the words spoken here.I love the line about not wrangling after someone elses truth. I enjoyed this, thanx, conni

    • AsIThink
      February 25
      Edit | Reply
      Wow,...thank you very much for this great comment. I'm touched by your words. The idea that you loved anything in this piece really brings some happiness to me. Thanks so much. I'll be visiting your site soon...

  • Sistersista
    January 17

    Edit | Reply

    ten stars

    WHEN,
    I GROW UP I'M GOING TO BE JUST LIKE YOU.THE ONLY DIFFERENCE(I'M A WOMAN) YOUR POEMS HAVE WON ME OVER A LONG TIME AGO. I THOUGHT TO MYSELF "THAT MAN GOT SKILLS" AND, HE'S LAID BACK WITH IT. DON'T EVER STOP WRITING. DON'T EVER SECOND QUESS WHAT YOU WRITE. JUST ALLOW YOUR FINGERS TO MAKE MUSIC WITH THE KEY BOARD.
    I KNOW YOUR FAMILY GOTTA BE PROUD OF YOU. KEEP ON KEEPING ON.


    SIGN:SISTERSISTA

    • AsIThink
      January 18
      Edit | Reply
      Transparency and sincerity: thank you sharing these great 2 traits of yours. And thank you for the high compliments. You want to be like me when you grow up (lol); hmmm...I'm not sure of who I am yet (lol)...I'll keep you posted (lol). My family just loves me and I think I'll keep writing for a while longer; my confidence is growing stronger. Keyboard music, huh? I wonder about that...

  • Sign of the Swine
    December 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really admire the way you mold your words into such beautiful imagery and metaphors. The whole poem is just...well, for lack of better of words, brilliant. Nicely done.


    • AsIThink
      January 18
      Edit | Reply
      Hey, I missed this comment. I honestly apologize. Thanks very much. This is encouraging and satisfying to hear. I feel honored.

  • moluv10
    December 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excwllent!! I'm loving this wonderfully penned piece! you always make me think about things in a different perspective. does my heart even pump? am i even aware? great piece big bro!


    • AsIThink
      December 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I'm loving this wonderfully penned comment (lol). You and "Mr. Wordz" plastered this stupid smile on my face. And actually, your feedback questions are crazy-deep. Thanks for the reflection.

  • WiseWithWordz
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    wow boy...it seems someone broke the mold of competiveness here...lol...this piece is super bad. love this joint. very earthy at the same time a touch of spiritual food. most high give us strength and you ask for his grace and mercy...love it...not prechy at all. many lines here i like. i f i have to single out any, i suppose it would be: the last stanza....lol: "Let me soak for an hour in a lake of proof"...tht's serious
    "I'm not wrangling after someone else's truth
    And wouldn't mind a drink from a fountain of youth"....damn, that's crazy!!!!! love that...even the end..."i sense 3 fears...you should've said...wise-with-wordz...lolol...instead you said " fear, fear, fear..that was brillant! i really enjoyed this master piece.-->peace!


    • AsIThink
      December 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      S-s-s-s-...sor-rey..., I, uh, uh...I'll edit it for-for-you ...Mr. Wordz...lol. What'up punk! Thanks for the extra-large, man-siiiized comment (lol). I think I like your comments more than my piece (I'm sucking up to keep the piece...er, ah: "peace"...lol). Really, son...thanx a lot. I didn't realize that you knew some many words (lol). 'Holla'! (lol)

  • Layne..
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this was something. --"Let me soak for an hour in a lake of proof"- that line was the most powerful to me, I loved this piece, your style of writing really draws me in....
    -Layne


    • AsIThink
      December 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hello...you have really touched me with your comments. Thanks so much. Naturally, I'm happy that you enjoyed this and that I was able to draw you in makes me feel even better. Thanks again.

  • Swangrnv
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    OH WOW!

    THIS IS NOT ONLY HARD-HITTING WITH DEEP EMOTION AND MEANING; IT'S ALSO EXTREMELY WELL COMPOSED! I LOVE THIS PIECE! BRAVO, MY MAN!


    • AsIThink
      December 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      That's 'big-ups' sir. Thank very, very much. I did this piece last night. You know, in my "mind-dwell" (lol). I'm happy that you love it. I would have been good if you simply, 'liked it'. Wow...Thanks again.
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