Hatred inside you bitters your soul
Your once warm heart now turns cold
Devastating destruction causes your pain
Along with seduction there's nothing to gain
Few and forgotten your friends have all passed
Memories of your failures eternal will last
You’ve buried yourself in a crypt of black lies
It’s yourself who's to blame, it's yourself you despise
Rage rises high and emotions run deep
Memories can't live on if there's no one to keep
I don't want forgiveness, I don't want your pity
I don't need understanding, I don't care for charity
I’d outstretch my hand and give you respite
If you wouldn't continue to just want to fight
I’ll sing your songs from when you were true
The time when you loved me and yourself too.
Author notes
This poem was co written by me (SchizoChic), Noeticaldesign and Lordmalvok both of this site and is a collective group written poem. They both have poems posted that we wrote together also if you are curious for more. Thanks!
A contest entry
- PIF NOT A QUICKIE TITLE'S GALORE by Blooming Poet.
1150 points, ended March 31, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Lost. Love To Hate; Hate To Love Poems by pillowjoe.
400 points, ended March 27, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Does hatred bitter your soul?
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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please put the option in authors notes
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awesome i love it
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indeed hatred does bitter my soul. I love this poem, nice co written poem. Lots of emotion put into this poem. Loved this part:
Hatred inside you bitters your soul
Your once warm heart now turns cold
Devastating destruction causes your pain
Along with seduction there's nothing to gain
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I don't know who this one is based on, which of the two it's about, but this one makes me feel sad... that anyone can be holding so much anger within them and sadness makes me feel miserable. I liked the first stanza, because that really is how I have felt recently.
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I wrote the first and third stanzas. I know what you mean. Its how Ive felt too But we have to remember those moods pass and light is ahead. We just have to come out of that darkness that seems to want to consume us which is so easy to dwell in... The hatred needs an outlet, it need to get out, or it will ruin you. Destroying relationships and everything else in your path around you because of rage and anger and hate of yourself and just in general not being happy is definitely not a good set of emotions to deal with. Poetry sure does help though... Thanks the AP Gods for making this possible!
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The three of you did a great job on this and that is just how hate is it eats at you and kills you thanks for stoping by my page that means a lot lots of love SH
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Oh ya... that's way better... the rhyme is alot more eloquent, not forced at all... great piece! i paticularly like the flow and structuring... excellent write, please do keep up the good work!!!
Sincerely,
Kris -
This is quite good.
Excellent Writing. No, I have learned not to hate.
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that's great Ellis. Hate only causes us to hold on to bitterness which causes us to grow cold and weathered sooner than we should.
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Now this was just wonderful!!! Excellent flow and rhyme through out.....
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Thanks!
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I think hatred bitters every soul from time time. But you do have hope and it is sometimes the only saving grace. From another schizo, I thank you.
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Thanks so much. i think you are right. Best wishes.
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"crypt of black lies"
I love that you give lies an additional depth with color--it makes the lies sound that much more peril.
"The time when you loved me and yourself too."
Oh, nostalgia...a very nice ending.
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"the time when you loved me and yourself too" was my line. Thanks for the nice comment.
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that was beautiful
powerful too
it's potent with "hating you for making me care"
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Thanks so much. I am glad you enjoyed it.
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Nice job here....Flowed pretty well and I saw only one change I would make, 3rd stanza 2nd line....seems short so the flow kinda has a bump in it.. MAybe...
If you would not continue to fight
However.... I still think it is a brilliant piece and am always impressed when people can their piece to rhyme well and sound beautiful..
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Jcat, I edited it up a bit and tried to fix the areas that were forced. Thanks for your compliments. If you want to have another look to see what you think of the changes I'd be grateful.
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excellent piece... the rhyme was a tiny bit firced in a spot or 2, but overall it flowed very nicely... and the subject matter and description was sad and beautifully stated... great piece... i'll be checking more out later!!!
Sincerely,
TheRamer
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Thanks and I edited it up a bit so that it flows a bit better. See what you think now if you will. Thanks.
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This smells of that perfume 'poison'. I can see that, there is much here, a love to hate hate to love attitude in this. This lady is bold, and the strength is such it contains a save yourself or not thing to the guy here, no nonsence and I like that, gothic in all satyrs of the imagination. Yet in spite of those failures, there is a gentle side to this.
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Right on target. Thank you for your kind words.
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