The child that touched the periwinkle,
with innocence she picked,
and placed the blue buds under my bed –
under the night's black moon.
They threw my will into the dark;
temptation grew at midnight.
And there my sex lay amidst the wild,
a pearl among the weeds.
When I picked myself up I saw I stood
upon a carpet of ash,
where my once great garden was lost
to the darkest acts of love.
Beautiful blooms of bachelor's buttons and balm of gilead had grown,
and with the wind the daffodils and daisies had delicately blown.
The lemongrass and licorice, with their sumptuous smell of summer,
grew beside the devil's bit and mistletoe and ginger.
Beneath the oak I felt myself open;
to fierce hands my garter broke.
His life and lies mingled between my legs;
to this vagrant my heart awoke.
Five full moons we met by the oak
led by the other's desire,
but the next new moon he stood by the willow
with another more fair than I.
How I hated that damned tramp!
His vim inside me now insipid;
he used my heart to soothe his whims
but I was not the prey.
A willow branch wound round his neck,
his deeds justly returned.
These sinister, nocturnal crimes
were left to hide by the hot blaze of day.
A year from the day, dragged from my sleep
to see what Earth from death had wept.
By the willow where he was left to rot is periwinkle blue,
and his murderer's hands, no longer clean, glisten bright red anew.
Author notes
2. In the author notes, you must answer
1. How Long have you been on AP
2. username
3. Age
4. How often are you on AP.
hello! i'm sekmhet eye of ra, i'm 21 ys old, and i've been on AP since may 2005. i had a hiatus after i initially joined, but lately (lately being the past few months) i've been signing onto AP at least once a week; the frequency depends on my wonderful, rotating schedule. hooray for the summer, season of bountiful vactions.
A contest entry
- SECRET LIAISONS (2500 Points to the Winner) by liquidmindforever.
2800 points, ended January 11, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - III by N e a r.
4000 points, ended February 16, 2008, 121 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Audition Round by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended May 14, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
while i appreciate the niceties, i would appreciate objective criticism more
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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What raw and powerful emotion you penned here! I love your tone of voice in this poem... Enticing and capturing. "Beneath the oak I felt myself open; /
to fierce hands my garter broke." This is my favorite part. It just... blows me away. Great job!
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Thanks for entering my Valentine's Day contest, and good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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wow...
wow, that was Amazing! I think you should of gotten gold. that was surpurb! a common theme of a boy taking the innocence of a girl just for his pleasure, then moving on when he's through with her, but explained in such beautiful macabre and such strength of emotions! I love the imagery comparison of the flowers.
excellent write!
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thank you, i'm glad you enjoyed reading my poem. i'm especially pleased you picked out my allusions to the flowers, so few did.
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Brava, brava, brava, belisimo! Do you remember that from the Italians? I think this is one of the best poems that I have read by you. It is written so well it blew me away. I loved reading it.
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yeah, by the way i remembered what you were talking about last night. "brava, brava, brava, belisimo!" damn jingle!!!
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did you catch the symbolism with the flower's?
and just because i luv you and ur my sis i give you five stars. but you still kinda suck
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Well, love and death is in my opinion, the sexiest and most appealing combination. Perhaps because of the dark element, perhaps because we are attracted to what's fantastically forbidden and yet so close and so tangible through our minds, our souls, the foolhardiness of which drag our bodies in this same dance of death. Amazing poem! Besides the theme, the story itself is immensely satisfying. I loved the evolution of this story, and the way the lingering perfume of curiousity, lust, love, betrayal, anger, hatred engulfs me as I read. I can't even say I have actually read this poem, because you've placed it in an universe so naturally beautiful, that it is impossible not to see it, witness it, live it. One of the best of this genre, and I wish you great luck in the contest. I do not know any details on the contest, but your poem deserves to be awarded for its grace, imagery, strength and overall beauty, and it will be an honor for me to applaud it.
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loved the imagery. especially a few certain lines about the sex. very nicely done.
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Beautiful blooms of bachelor's buttons and balm of gilead had grown,
and with the wind the daffodils and daisies had delicately blown.
The lemongrass and licorice, with their sumptuous smell of summer,
grew beside the devil's bit and mistletoe and ginger.
Lovely and poetically sweet.
A year from the day, dragged from my sleep
to see what Earth from death had wept.
By the willow where he was left to rot is periwinkle blue,
and his murder's hands, no longer clean, glisten bright red anew (do you mean "murderer's?"
Metaphor, sense engagement. Overall--well done!
Dear Poet,
Thank you for entering my contest: SECRET LIAISONS
Best wishes in the competition
LOVELIGHTPEACE
liquid -
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yes i do and i must fix it.
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Is this true? A powerful poem indeed. The vocabulary and imagery is wonderful. Good luck in the contest!
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god, i hope it's not true. but lover's quarrels happen all the time, so i could imagine it could happen.
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