I gave you a hazard
It turns out that I'm the one who would choke
Tricked by fake lightning and a face full of glass
My punishment earned from indulging in such a cruel joke
Tasteless as it may have been
I'm not exactly the most discerning of individuals
I thought I knew what I had gotten into
How quickly life can turn the tables
I can still breathe through the shards
When I smile it's a grin built of bloody teeth
It was clearly deserved but it only fills half of this cup
Coming up short brings no sense of relief
Comfort can be lost on the most accepting of people
It's clearly all in how you say your words
The future is bleak if I chase it with my eyes closed
It doesn't help that I've forgotten what I'm headed towards
Author notes
Personally, I really like this one a lot. It came from a couple of different inspirations and obviously it goes along with my username. I dunno about the last stanza though. I go from using lots of first person to being way more general. Any tips/suggestions?
A contest entry
- Yep. 5 Options. Simple. by Manda Kathryn.
700 points, ended February 12, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspiration by NeverSayAddiction.
750 points, ended December 27, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow
this poem was realy good keep it up my name is geena bye the way -
Im glad
im glad you entered this into my contest... I think you are right about the last stanza... But still this is a good piece!!! Good Luck.. Keep writing... -
i like these lines: "Tasteless as it may have been
I'm not exactly the most discerning of individuals
I thought I knew what I had gotten into"
And these: "It's clearly all in how you say your words
The future is bleak if I chase it with my eyes closed"
very deep write. makes me think of how it can be when you dont get along with someone your close to.
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wow!
i think this is brilliant! the imagery was strong, emotions were raw! basically, this was an awesome poem! keep penning kays!
AWESOME!
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this is a brilliant poem. I really loved reading through this. I was totally lost within the words throughout the whole poem. Well done.
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G'Day The-Choke
For some reason reading this I felt like I've read it before :S
I love the unique flow and different imagery it creates; from beginning to end it stays in the mind after finished reading, I wanted to go back and read it again and again
.♥.
Thank you for your entry
Best of luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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