I like the red bones of cabbage
that bleed a little heat into my mouth,
when I crunch out the posture
which the old carcass frame held,
in an extra large vein in a vegetable
Glad how the shrivels
cracked into gravel
only sag and rust
my washed teeth
In a list
A contest entry
- Moment of Clarity by Jfd.
600 points, ended January 14, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Very creepy and haunting. Nice write though and I liked the imagery in this.
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Yeah, I was trying to correlate it that way with humor... and it's interesting that you say "Nice write though" because I had the intention to use reality in an unusual manner as with a metaphor.
Thanks for describing to the point that I was trying for,
SplishSplashPencil
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simple rules:
****plain background
check spelling and grammar
I'm usually not picky with "contest rules" but I only had two, very simple to follow. -
oh hey heads up , he asked for a plain background.
hate to see you nailed for something so small. -
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thanks for the warning although i got a boom from the judge that i broke all the rules when i was writing another poem hehe. i now edited though feel so bad as i usually don't do that but was even tardy at my normal spell-check when just reading it. and, breakings in my competitions rip at my happy ability so i got a horrible taste from this quite well.
again, thank you...
splishsplashpencil
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