There once was an old fellow from France,
short on love and a little romance,
so on this New Year’s Eve,
he set out, quite naive,
to have fun at a local rave dance.
He entered the club looking dandy,
glanced over dance floor for eye-candy,
but he did not get far,
when his gaze hit the bar,
light drinker, he ordered a shandy.
A rave chick who was stood at the bar,
had viewed his fat wallet from afar,
while his mind was on lust,
hers on marriage or bust,
she booked a wedding and a black car.
Then she plied him with drink after drink,
hugged him tight to her bosom so pink,
while he kissed the hot wench,
he taught her some French,
and the rapture took him to the brink.
“Je t’aime” she began loudly to sing,
as she chose the best gold wedding ring,
up the aisle made a dash,
grabbing his pile of cash,
now the poor man has paid for his fling.
So if you’re an old fellow from France,
just looking for a little romance,
be careful this year,
of the bird with the beer,
stick to coke and don’t forget to dance!
Author notes
Chain Limerick. The form Limerick has a set rhyme scheme of : a-a-b-b-a with a syllable structure of: 9-9-6-6-9 and is usually used for humorous poetry though it can be effective for other genres.
In a list
A contest entry
- Humor by C.I.M.A Punk.
500 points, ended January 5, 2008, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 52 of 52
-
Ha ha 1
Love it ! fabulous ! well done x
-
A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict form, originally popularized in English by Edward Lear, which intends to be witty or humorous.
Sorry;
All your hard work was in vain
perhaps you could enter again
if a year should elapse
and less verses perhaps
A shiney cup then you could then gain.
-
-
Limerick Chains
As with haiku chains limerick chains though rare are perfectly acceptable -
A limerick has five lines its true
and each of mine have that amount too
so just let me explain
that mine join in a chain
to tell a complete story for you.
Each line has the right syllable count
double nine, six, six, nine, the amount
unless to fit the flow
I let one of them go
but for that I won’t charge or discount.
-
-
This made me laugh, it has a great humour to it, and I do love a Limerick although I have not read one in a while. Well done on your funny bone. Best to you
-
Haha, you have a real talent for humor, as well as for limericks (which in my opinion is one of the best poetic vehicles for humor.) Great job with this story, and congrats on the trophies it has snagged. I imagine it will win more in the future (and the huge number of applause is testament to the creativity and skilled writing contained in this piece.)
-
Ok absolutely spectacular i loved this piece unique and different....my favorite lines that i had to mention were "
He entered the club looking dandy,
glanced over dance floor for eye-candy,
but he did not get far,
when his gaze hit the bar,
light drinker, he ordered a shandy.
A rave chick who was stood at the bar,
had viewed his fat wallet from afar,
while his mind was on lust,
hers on marriage or bust,
she booked a wedding and a black car." -
Superb
A perfect justification for men to remain single; and to stay out of pick-up bars. (lol) I've never married; and I've never regretted it for one minute. I come and go as I please and am accountable to no one, but myself as to the hours I keep. Extremely well written, imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine.
-
hahaha how very cute. i liked this very much it was very interesting, hopefuly now people will be more cautious when thinking about marraige after just meeting the person and having a drink! nice write
-
Excellent!
Very funny! I do enjoy a good limerick. Well done. -
Excellent! A really good read, that flows brilliantly and tells a very amusing tale.
Well done and good luck in my contest. -
this is well writtan and I thank you for entering my contest. I hope to read more from you soon.
-
Amusing and highly enjoyable limerick chain. There's a couple of places where the meter isn't perfect, but it's a minor complaint. Thanks a lot for your entry.
-
Stick to coke says her ear to ear grin,
UNless tears' frontiers sing chagrin,
SHall we dance, gay Paris,
IN and out, August spree
E nchanting awaits sun_kin sin
-
its good
-
This was quite enjoyable! Very well done, great wording and a lot of fun!
best wishes
-
a good poem, i just fancy a shandy right now, hair of the dog and all that! maybe i will do a little dance too, just for the hell of it a good set of limericks penned.
-
I don't think I've ever seen a limerick with more than one stanza before. It's effective.
jjj
-
WOW! Haven't read a limerick in a very long time, and certainly not one with an up to date twist.
Good luck in the contest as you keep hold to your wallet
Jim
-
Cute write here
HAHAHA So many finds that once their brains are unhinged they find their wallet is a revolving door
-
-
I'm afraid he was thinking about quite another part of his anatomy! And I don't mean his heart!
-
-
Haha!!
Love it!!! This was exactly what I was looking for, the rhyme sets a really up beat and jolly tone!! I like the useage of words like "fellow" and "Dandy" as I have been known to talk in such a way! Great write! Finalist. Good luck and I'll keep you posted!
-
Excellent work it is hard enough to write a single limerick and make it entertaining to have done a story with one is exceptional Excellent
-
Superb
Hahahahahah.
I LOVED This. brilliant writing. What a ditty that was. The rhyme was beautiful. Great imagery too. Really enjoyed that.
Much love
Wayne Leon
x
-
This is really cute. Great write, and congratulations on your prior trophies. Thank you so much for sharing and entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
-
How cute! I love it!
-
Another fabulous piece, these really are very good, and funny. Again, best of luck in the contest with it
-
This actually made me smile in the beginning, the words just rolled off my tongue loved this
-
This was fun and unique. Made me smile. Thanks for your entry.
-
Ah, merci beaucoup! C'est tres bien! Je souhaite que je parle plus francaise, but I really am not that good (as you can probably tell). This poem was enchanting and should do well in the contest. Thank you for your entry and good luck!
-
ALWAYS good advice.
Have a coke instead of a cookie.
Completely forgo the nookie.
Or carry your pre-nup
tied to your pup
and don’t act so much like a rookie.
-
WOW!!!
What a delightful and funny Limerick
You have chose a form that I have not dared to try as of yet. You did a splendid job.
Laughing all the way
The flow and rhyme is brilliant.
Flowed much like a song as I read through the smooth lyrics
Wish you the best in the contest!
Many blessings,
Much love,
~David~
-
I really enjoyed this one. The rhyming and structure are superb and the story is funny.
Excellent write and good luck.
-
Limericks rule! And so do you.
I think the second line of the second stanza is really awkward, however. Dance floor and sweet eye-candy all contrive to make it fumble. Unfortunately I can't think of any simple solutions.
-
-
Thanks. I have changed that line as I thought it was a little awkward too. I think it was the words around dance floor and eye-candy that were out of place.
-
-
wow
this just blows me away..with your perfect rhyme and flow..excellent write with a great story..umm 5th verse..L3..isle is island..you mean aisle..simple typo..but a very strong write..thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest
-
i thought real poets did not exist anymore you have renewed my faith
-
This is so funny.
I just love it.
It made me laugh from the very first verse.
-
LOL I think I met him! He married the other one but I think she had the cash. 'while he kissed the hot wench, he taught her some French' love it!
-
hahahahahahaa.. amazing write... full of humor. Enjoyed the whole poem.
my favorite part:
"So if you’re an old fellow from France,
just looking for a little romance,
be careful this year,
of the bird with the beer,
stick to coke and don’t forget to dance!"
Thanks for sharing and have a happy 2008.
Cheers!!!
-
Fantastic
I am really enjoying these chained limericks! Poor old geezer, but a great story. I am going to have to try one of these, but I don't know if I can match your talent.
-
Short and sweet
Cuckoo's nest
is surely best
while all the rest
can't stand the test
-
Excellent
Excellent little story here. A story of many a poor man I think be it French or otherwise. My advise leave the wallet at home boys get the girls to buy yours for you lmao. Well done with this it is Brilliant Sue all the best Brian.
-
haha...!
Great fun to read my friend! The combination of strong drink and weak will is always a danger... that's if you could call a shandy strong drink? Love it! Good luck in the contest!
-
Bravo mon amee-tres bon!!!!!!!!!
Yes-i know-I never took French at school so that is why my spelling is crap!!!
Made me laugh-very very well thought out mon brav!!!!
-
I love this piece. The rhyming is flawless and such a pleasure to read. I smiled and chuckled with joy as I read it. I think your poem is just perfect. I am sure your going to do very well in the contest.
-
LOL!!
Perhaps, we've been staying in Paris on my YELLOW BUS of PEACE & LOVE way too long, Lily! And now I know why we haven't seen hide nor hair of you for many a day and you flled the back of me bus with a half dozen suitcases filled with all that money! He! He! A fine and dandy piece, indeed! And you know what they say - boys will be boys even in GAY PARIE and what little boy can resist a nice sweet and juicy piece of candy? He! He!
Love & Peace!
Earl.
GOOD LUCK in this contest and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR if you decide to get another unlucky (or lucky?) fellow drunk before taking him to the cleaners for his foolish ways!
ME? I'll have a rum and coke - VERY HEAVY on the coke and very light on the rum! He! He!
-
this is really really good... i love humourous poems esp yours... you go girl this is bloody brilliant xxx
-
Oh this was great. With a moral & everything. So witty & entertaining.
-
That was hilarious, m'lovely lady! Not many can write rhyming poems with that dry wit that gets under my skin and makes me snicker, lol. Great stuff.
-
A nice little cautionary tale
For men who are tempted by ale
The miss with a kiss
Will give you some bliss
And a marriage that's so bound to fail
Good luck in the contest....Sue
-
Absolutely fantastic Sue
This made me laugh made me think of our trip on the little yellow bus with us being in France.
Thanks for sharing this
Good Luck in the contests
~sugar~
Adding your comment:
1 - 52 of 52
