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This Time Last Year

Missing image

 

 

 

This Time Last Year

 

 

 

Lost in the mist the street lights below

gave no real comfort, just a cold eerie glow.

 

He sat by the window awaiting a call

or the echo of footsteps along the dark hall.

 

All sound was muffled his ears didn’t hear

celebrations in progress, laughter, good cheer.

 

Dressed in his finest for this New Year’s Eve

alone in his room, just needing to grieve.

 

A year since it happened their love torn apart

one fatal car crash, one broken heart.

 

The light caught a tear, as his ear caught the sound

the door opened slowly and he turned around.

 

She entered the room, what a beautiful sight

in a little black dress she’d bought for the night.

 

From a distance he saw her beauty and grace

but anguish and sorrow were etched on her face.

 

Caressing his photo with soft finger tips,

a kiss on the glass from ruby red lips.

 

As she walked by her fragrance was strong

stirring the memories from where they belong.

 

He knew just to touch her would be so divine,

was she a ghost or a trick of the wine?

 

A spectre, a vision, a trick of the light

the love that he’d lost on that last New Year’s night.

 

He cried as she faded from out of his view

him in his wheelchair, lonely and blue.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

This poem is purely fictitious, although I have been told it would make a good advert for a drink, drive campaign.

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 72 of 72
  • poster
    November 14

    Edit | Reply
    He knew just to touch her would be so divine,
    was she a ghost or a trick of the wine?
    A spectre, a vision, a trick of the light
    the love that he’d lost on that last New Year’s night


    Poignant take on an unfortunately common occurence where perhaps those who pass are held the lucky ones by those confined to a wheelchair

    A lesson much needed by some selfish individuals


  • Denerica silver member
    November 14

    Edit | Reply
    Worthy of the trophies and would be a wonderful advocacy tool to help others realize time is fleeting, precious, not to become an afterthought that would haunt us the rest of our lives. Excellent. Blessings.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 14
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, I'm glad you enjoyed the read.

      Sue


  • Red Rocket
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    "She entered the room, what a beautiful sight
    in a little black dress she’d bought for the night"

    Great flow and storytelling. I followed it very well, beautiful and sad. Thanks for writing.


  • parenchma
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    I have friends who have had this kind of thing happen. Deercatcher's "Questions" the father had a visit in the night from his son; and my neice in Arizona said my father appeared to her. Both were very soon after death.

    • Thank you for reading, yes I know of a couple of people who had similar stories to tell, but this is just a poem ... Sue

  • Topnotchsy
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully written, congrats on the well deserved trophies, and having it featured in the "In the Spotlight" section on the front page of the site.

    • Many thanks for reading and leaving a comment, I appreciate it and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

      Sue
      x

  • wow...best ive read in a long long time! You're right, it would make an awesome add campaign!


  • alpPDCjr12
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    "was she a ghost or a trick of the wine?
    A spectre, a vision, a trick of the light"
    Using the phrase "a trick of" twice right next to eachother is awkward. Other than that this poem is excellent. Great job!

  • Beautifully written. Sad and beautiful!!

  • Papagallo
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    This was beautiful and sad. Most of all I liked the ending. It left me with questions.


  • Symphony
    August 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    just came across this again - and it has still such a powerful impact!


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    June 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    well done

    Tough theme, difficult story to tell around cliche and the maudlin but you did it.


  • Symphony
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah sheesh, this actually did reduce me to tears, so, along with Shancy, i think this was definitely a first place winner - also i enjoyed the way you didn't use intensely cliche lines like so many of us do when writing about topics like this, AND, also the visual imagery - her 'ruby red lips' and what not, totally brought it all alive - kudos to you and congrats on the gold trophy!


  • BellaD
    June 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Well done!

    A very moving and well written poem. Congrats on the Gold!


  • Shancy Fayre
    June 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love it! Great rhythm and rhyme. A great message. Thanks for entering. Shancy.

  • ecrivain01
    April 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Whoa ...

    seems like a lot of people are writing about memories lately. This is particularly poignant and a very powerful write in my opinion.


  • EeyoreUK
    March 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hi this poem goes well and it flows. it was sad when the car crashed and she died. Thank goodness the man survived. Thanks for sharing the poem. Clifford (8years old) my son


  • Wendy-Larkin
    March 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    What a very sad poem and touching well done for winning a silver for this


  • Shaylee
    March 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    hey

    "This Time Last Year







    Lost in the mist the street lights below

    gave no real comfort, just a cold eerie glow.



    He sat by the window awaiting a call

    or the echo of footsteps along the dark hall.



    All sound was muffled his ears didn’t hear

    celebrations in progress, laughter, good cheer.



    Dressed in his finest for this New Year’s Eve

    alone in his room, just needing to grieve.



    A year since it happened their love torn apart

    one fatal car crash, one broken heart.



    The light caught a tear, as his ear caught the sound

    the door opened slowly and he turned around.



    She entered the room, what a beautiful sight

    in a little black dress she’d bought for the night.



    From a distance he saw her beauty and grace

    but anguish and sorrow were etched on her face.



    Caressing his photo with soft finger tips,

    a kiss on the glass from ruby red lips.



    As she walked by her fragrance was strong

    stirring the memories from where they belong.



    He knew just to touch her would be so divine,

    was she a ghost or a trick of the wine?



    A spectre, a vision, a trick of the light

    the love that he’d lost on that last New Year’s night.



    He cried as she faded from out of his view

    him in his wheelchair, lonely and blue."

    i really like it ....... but i didnt understand at first....


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    March 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now I spent most of the poem wondering which one of them was actually the ghost. Silverware for this one..Mmmm - impressive.


  • boydamaged
    February 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Truely heartbreaking. You really put me into the story of a love lost and thats excatly what I have been looking for. Amazing. If this truely happened to you then I am deeply sorry and I give my all my sympathies. OUTSTANDING write, thanks for entering, and good luck.


  • kvwriter silver member
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, this is truly painful. My temples ache right now and I know what that means. Such sadness, such haunting sadness.

    We just don't know, sometimes, until we do know . . . and this life can be so cruel and yet so magical.

    I, personally, have to adjust my focus to bend toward the magical because it becomes too painful when I find myself leaning into the dark.

    This life is a journey. Day by day. Moment by moment. That is the best we can do to survive. Stay in the now. And now I must go dry these tears so I can read more words.

    Thank you for sharing you heart, and know that this is a winner way beyond silver or gold.

    You are beautiful. Truly.
    Love,
    Kell

  • evelynxxoo
    February 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    It was very sad the part at the end him in a wheelchair drinking to drown out his pain wanting it to be her in the room and not a ghost


  • anaisnais
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Heartfelt, sad and brilliant storyline. You capture this moment so very well with the use of the senses. Bravo! A well deserved piece for trophy!


  • Endeavor gold member
    February 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent


    Caressing his photo with soft finger tips,
    a kiss on the glass from ruby red lips.

    As she walked by her fragrance was strong
    stirring the memories from where they belong.

    Beautiful words in soft rhyme
    Well deserved Silver

    Rick


  • My Souls Reflection gold member
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm speechless, this is haunting but so very beautiful.
    Congratulations on the trophy...very deserving.

  • Judith Chandler
    January 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    your ending was eerie.

    How the dead do linger.

    I like this piece


  • timothyward
    January 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful read. i tells a great story and is very moving. I love your expert use of rhyme.


  • funpum
    January 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Ooooohh...

    This is so sad. A lot of atmosphere here, and simple construction and no fancy words make it all the more powerful. Nice.


  • Dalaney gold member
    January 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    holy smokes, what a story! This is fabulous, Sue. I'm home alone today "working" (ha) and decided to read the poets I have on my favorites list...this blew me away. Yes, you are a wonderful writer...no doubt about it. Love, Lane


  • Talia
    January 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm a bit taken for words on this one. Such heart wrenching sadness but so beautifully written. Great job


  • Ellis gold member
    January 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    OUTSTANDING --Excellent Writing

    Exquisitely beautiful poem.
    ------------


  • SilverButterfly gold member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    If I could I would send you a Gold Trophy for this beautiful write!!!!

    You have done a superb job of telling this sad story of precious memories. The grief I felt as I read this is almost too unbearable!

     

    Thank you for posting it. I am humbled by your talent as a writer my friend!!!

     

    GBY:)
    SilverButterfly

     


  • DawnBaby
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Oh this one just leads you along, the flow is grand the story so sad, but effectively written. Great write poet! Definitely deserved that Silver!


  • RuthKephart
    January 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent piece. Most deserving of the trophy
    Ruth


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Commented on this before you entered it into this reading list, so cannot applaud again. Nice to see it here for us to read.


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    What a lovely write - so easy to visualize this happening and to feel the pain and anguish again as one sees the love of their life even if in a dream or a vision So much can happen in a second, let alone a year.


  • paullallady silver member
    January 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was sweet, tender and so very sad.
    Your descriptiveness was terrific and really
    allowed the reader to "see" the scene and your
    words gave a deep emotion that touched me. great job.

  • tylerannatheart
    January 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very good good luck in the contest. i love it thank you for sharing.


  • angro6963
    December 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    freakin sweet


  • Princess Peach
    December 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very good! Good luck in the contest! I like the pic!;-)


  • Crimsonblurr
    December 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    AMAZING

    the title of your poem immediatley caught my eye, because this time last year was a very hard time for me. this poem brought me sadness, but i definitely enjoyed it i love the use of rhyme


  • karma-n-peace
    December 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh...this poem is so tender and touching.
    It has provoked an ache in my heart and a tear from my eyes...I understand the pain of losing your one true love, your soul mate.
    You have captured the mood well with your words and written a magnificent poem that touches the heart of the reader.
    Such a beautifully written piece.


  • fallingstarrr
    December 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written - powerful yet not freightening - tender and true. thanks for sharing.

  • werner1221
    December 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    good rhymes. good imagery. good job.


  • RatherSpiffing
    December 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was truly beautiful. It captivated me from the start and I felt I could see the scene before my eyes. Amazing.


  • individuality gold member
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a good, sad piece here. aye the holiday period, i suppose it is not all happy clapping and laughter, some in the world, quite a few, have darker memories. and always good to reflect on those darker moments so we can adjust and move forward. a good piece, put me in a sombre mood though i will leave you a smile


  • infinite.magic
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    I like it alot, I believe many people can relate to this that has lost someone they love even if they are still living. The helpless feeling you have over your emotions and the great distance your lover seems to be from you.

  • Tecohe
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Worthy of Comparison with Poe

    The surprise ending, the elements of weather, tragedy, alcohol and other spirits makes this one that holds the reader until the end. Then, we want more.
    Tecohe


  • Trellis
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    First of all - AMAZING ARTWORK! I've never seen that before. I adore it!

    The title drew me in for personal reasons - I remember last year saying "I wish it was a year from now." And now it is. Things are much better.

    But I immediately saw that your poem was of a different nature. I like it! The rhyming is very good. A bittersweet story quite well-written.


  • Swtpoetryman
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A GOLD TROPHY WINNER - IF YOU ASK ME!

    He knew just to touch her would be so divine,
    was she a ghost or a trick of the wine?

    A spectre, a vision, a trick of the light
    the love that he’d lost on that last New Year’s night.

    He cried as she faded from out of his view
    him in his wheelchair, lonely and blue.


    It reads just like THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS but is a much sadder piece - to say the least - filled with heart and soul and with the emotions of a lonely man who has lost the love of his life much to soon! Hopefully, he will be able to fal in love again and move on before 2009 arrives and there will be a much happier tale to tell next year! i pray that i am still here to read it for one never knows what any one of our days may bring! GOOD LUCK in the contest with this.
    Peace & Love!
    Earl.


  • DolphinLass silver member
    December 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow such a depth of sad emotion I felt his pain and his love...well written and good luck


  • Gratitude
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Haunting and beautiful. Unusual subject material as well. It would be even more refreshing if it wasn't all down and upsetting. For example, I might have made it that the woman's fleeting visit helped the guy somehow.


  • Andrew the Great
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It must be terrible to have lost your love in a car crash or indeed in any sort of fatal accident and even worse if you are a cripple condemned to a wheelchair for the rest of your life. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem with us. I do hop it is not true.


  • Lily of the Valley
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A haunting tale told so beautifully through rhyme and again you have brought the emotions of the piece alive with the scene you set. Perhaps this is very timely reminder to be careful while out driving, especially at this time of year because even if you are alcohol free, the rest of them out there might not be, and pedestrians are just at much at risk too, as one of my own family found out to his cost. This poem is more than just a story, it is a look at reality and I hope you do well in the contest because it deserves to be read by more people.


  • Quill
    December 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Deserves Gold,well done my talented friend.


  • moonbumps silver member
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh so hauntingly sad...
    Have you any spare hankies cos I've run out babe.

    Blessings xx

  • A floatingleaf silver member
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Well written...so sad...


  • Harlequin Bunny
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    This is simple, but extremely powerful. It hits close to home, as I've known quite a few people who've been killed in drunk driving accidents, which is what I see happening in this poem .. maybe this'll have the added bonus of encouraging people to not drink and drive this new years .. so next year, they won't be looking back and thinking, "This Time Last Year" ..

  • Bad Bill
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A very accomplished poem, poignant and beautifully worded. Excellent piece.

    Bill


  • onesugar gold member
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully sad

    In fact heartbreaking

    You have a wonderful way of bringing emotion to your poems, this brought tears to my eyes.

    As always amazing

    Good Luck

    ~sugar~


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Ohhh... so sad. Beautifully written. Squeezed at my heart and brought tears to my eyes!!


  • arafura gold member
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    lonely and blue...

    Bittersweet memories of a loved one lost... You have such a great ability to tell a story with your poems! The imagery is great in this and you can feel the man's loss and his emotion. Great work. Good luck in the contest!


  • Haunted-Memory silver member
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Without doubt this is on its own merit is outstanding. I have to agree with what you told me about it making a good advert for drink driving and with jeffs little part added to it I would think that it would hit home to many people and actually make them think about having a drink before taking to the wheel. If this was read with actors playing the part it would put the creeps into people of that there is no doubt. Well done Sue yet another excellent write. Brian.


  • Fire N Ice
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    oh wow!

    this brought tears!
    fantastic write.... straight to the prelims!


  • Angelo di Luce gold member
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    What a marvel this is what I call poetry

    Next time think twice

    Bravo


  • cricketjeff gold member
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Alone with the thought of the lover he lost
    A New Year's eve drink with a terrible cost
    The laugh as they drank to the future they'd share
    Not a cold lonely coffin, and a thankless wheelchair


  • Melba Solis-Z
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hauntinly Beautiful

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