Love is the elixir of life, its essence is pure;
its droplet is serene like a midnight dulcet.
The knack of judging plays havoc with my soul;
my spirit zags, my flesh seduces to adultery.
Vulnerability weakens my inner strength;
My heart no longer harbors sacred promises.
Like a drunken bee, my heart is a wanderer in love
who's cocktail cup over-brimmed with sweet nectar.
I'm a half-slaughtered victim of love who's obsessed,
addicted and intoxicated in the dalliance of sensual waves.
A contest entry
- Honey.... by Dalaney.
1000 points, ended January 5, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GIVE ME YOUR BEST!!! ya know ya wanna! by infinitechaos07.
450 points, ended January 10, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best! by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short and Sweet by Catie Sheeran.
450 points, ended April 25, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - So they say... Beauty is all that counts... by Perception.
550 points, ended May 9, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Poems by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended May 26, 2008, 179 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Upgrade Your Poem (Prewrite Contest) by SEA angel.
300 points, ended July 1, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest, Music and Love's Kiss by Riftkin.
825 points, ended October 18, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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This is a great way to talk about a kiss, and thank you for entering my contest. Best of luck to you.
Riftkin
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A new perspective
You have some wonderfully unique metaphors. I especially like the analogy to a drunken bee. I think the problem some of the more intellectual poems have is that the vocabulary might soar higher than the contest runners vocabulary. Some are challenged and like a butterfly soar to Google to see new vocabulary horizons to broaden their own. Others wilt and go away rather than take nourishment from their nectar. Or, too, often times contests may have so many excellent entries that list far exceeds three trophies available. For, most definitely, this poem has merit!!!
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Thank you for entering my short poems contest. You have done a very good job of describing the temptations that I think most people have to face at least one time in their life.
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Wonderful write... I really thought it was interesting how you penned this one
Great job,
and best of luck in my contest
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Nice metaphors...nicely written thanx!
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Excellent display of emotions here. Write on, brother. One.
Dez
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A victim of love, now that I know too well. Such pain and heartbreak come with love at times while other times great joy takes over. It's as if there is no in between when it comes to love. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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Thanks for entering my contest and best of luck!
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i like your take on this prompt
lane
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Love is the most powerful of all emotions your lines flow smooth like honey with imagery to be intoxicated in sensual waves now that is one heck of a way to go...bring it on. nicely penned. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for the pleasure of this read.
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A double WOW here
Love is indeed powerful when you are really in love. I have been wandering in love with the same woman for 30+ years.
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Ooh, this is nice, esp. the last three stanzas. I love the drunken bee image. Great!
St. 2 though is confusing. Do you mean 'judging' or 'juding', which I've never heard of? I like the idea of a spirit 'zagging', as opposed to 'sagging', but 'my flesh seduces to temptation' doesn't seem to make sense. It FEELS ok, but I'm not sure it's what you meant?
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amazing
this is a really good poem
This is my favorite part of the entire poem
Love is the elixir of life, its essence is pure;
its droplet is serene like midnight dulcet.
I hope you win the contests you entered
Good luck
LP* -
Vulnerability weakens my inner strength!
WOW, I had to shake myself back into reality.
Good write. Very moving. I should have read this at home and not at work.
And like a Drunken bee, my heart is a wanderer in love,......VERY VERY GOOD!!!
Very impressive write.
Steffany
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"Vulnerability weakens my inner strength;
my heart no longer harbors sacred promises.
The knack of juding plays havoc with my soul;
my spirit zags, my flesh seduces to adultery.
I'm a half-slaughtered victim of love who's obsessed,
addicted and intoxicated in the dalliance of sensual waves."
Wow,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
There is a multitude of complex emotions in this piece.
I had to remind myself that the main character here is "Love"
You did a darn good job here.
Best of luck in the contest.
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Very well spoken
I don't see how I missed this one, especially by the Title. Glad I stopped in to read such a wonderful piece.
ephiphany♥
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very beautiful but those last lines sounds so familiar to me
but this poem was much more complex at a higher level with creativity everywhere
this was somewhat different
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Like a drunken bee, my heart is a wanderer in love
who's cocktail cup over-brimmed with sweet nectar
I love this metaphore at the end!
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Splendid! There is a fluid nature to these words. They spin and whir with the essence of pure, unbridled affection. Honey Sweet...for sure. I wish you the best in this challenge dear heart.
All My LOVE ♥
Mom
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