She is a goofy, creative, girl.
She knows I adore and love her.
Our first words were "Hey there, Dude."
I instantly knew that
we were just two kids.
Two kids in need
of something,
some thing--
Love.
Author notes
Nonet-
line 1 - 9 syllables
line 2 - 8 syllables
line 3 - 7 syllables
line 4 - 6 syllables
line 5 - 5 syllables
line 6 - 4 syllables
line 7 - 3 syllables
line 8 - 2 syllables
line 9 - 1 syllable
A contest entry
- If It Makes You Happy. by La Tua Cantante.
380 points, ended January 2, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Poetry by Harrisham Minhas.
300 points, ended January 4, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything Goes by bloodletter68.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Amazing
Really awesome poem!
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This is a very charming write. Gorgeous write really, this is how some of my friends have met their loved ones. I can see that you care about the person that the poem is about, merely because you took the time to write the poem for them. It’s very heartfelt and I enjoyed reading it. My favorite part is:
“I instantly knew that
we were just two kids.
Two kids in need
of something,
some thing--
Love. ”
Thank you and good luck in my contest.
-Dana.
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This is simple and sweet.
Nicely done.
Thanks for your entry.
Harrisham Minhas
-
Hey there, dude.
I'm so flattered by this...I've never had anyone write me poetry before except my ex Ryan (and his poem was called "Um a Poem I Guess"). I still need to write a poem about you...I started it earlier today but it's still not complete.
Awesome write as always. <3
Devon
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The repetition of "something" as "some thing" works very well, I think, to shift the poem from a fairly commonplace statement to a much deeper, more interesting, ultimately far more satisfying meditation on life and love. Well done throughout, though.
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