Mind blown to peace
The theca of his brain
Crumbling like Greece
Upon the mecca of his name
Curling like a photograph
With fire-furling wings
Crackling like a phonograph
A laugh in long grooved rings
His skin had turned to hide
Cured by a lack of touch
His hands were small and dry
For I saw them then as such
The capeskin hero hampered
Now he's just a bag of bone
In the bottom of a phone booth
Days of dangling dial tone
Curling like a photograph
With fire-furling wings
Crackling like a phonograph
A laugh in long grooved rings
His face had fallen gracefully
But his eyes were bruising fruit
Which now kiss the earth embracingly
And starve me to the root
In a black and burnished book
They signed and sealed his story shut
Then his time was but a hook
Which reaped a feeling in our gut
Curling like a photograph
With fire-furling wings
Crackling like a phonograph
A laugh in long grooved rings
A contest entry
- Living With Alzheimers Or Dementia by CountryCousin.
1500 points, ended March 27, 2008, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I am reading again.
I am just reading these again because each piece is so worthy. -
Most excellent.
This piece is so true of the way this disease works. They were once the heros in our lives, but then Alzheimers strikes and the mind is gone. Sadly it leaves long before the essence of the person does.
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Hood-Wink
Wow such a visual fine piece of poetry. Amazing emotion and flow. Brilliant
I hope you have enjoyed your day today. Please keep up the amazing writing
Theresa
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hoodwinked!
this would make an excellent song! the chorus is great, i really love the images that you referenced to! some of the scenarios that you mention in this are very original and beautifully described.
great write!
LXF
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hoodwinked! again, rich use of vocabulary and the rhyme was great. No stumbling ... nice and smoothe. "Crackling like a phonograph
A laugh in long grooved rings" I especially liked this verse.
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Curling like a photograph
With fire-furling wings
Crackling like a phonograph
A laugh in long grooved rings
- i thought this stanza was so clever, i just loved the similes, really vivid, also a great choice for the reptition as it speaks volumes about the topic, the sense of age from 'crackling' and even the pop-culture reference of a phonograph to communicate the genereration.
the use of historical references and the descriptions like:
The capeskin hero hampered
Now he's just a bag of bone
speaks so well of wisdom and fragility.
a fab write my dear. may your genius continue to amaze me in the new year!!!!
kisses xxx
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Excellent imagery
I love the imagery used here, the descriptions, let me see the photograph, and hear the phonograph.....This piece of work was put together very nice, it just hopped along perfectly. I enjoyed wrapping the words to the title. But like any poem I read that is done like this, I walk away wondering whether or not my interpretation, is what the writer intended. But then again I think that this aspect,... is also one of the things that makes a piece of work like this one great. Great work.
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