I stand as I grew all alone
And I make all the pieces of me.
Here therefore I know I can go
Cause waiting for you make me so sick out of the rain.
Trying something new,
while I am waiting for you.
I don't know when will I take
All the loneliness inside that I feel
Keeping you everyday makes me ponder out of the blue.
Having such kind of blue spell.
Wasting my time singing love songs for you.
All that I know that you'll come back to me.
Waiting for you in the rain.
Author notes
This is also a poem I composed with a hymnal... If I can only put music into it, I love music the reason I always create songs.....
A contest entry
- Our Song, Stand in the Rain, Behind Glass by Bella Luna.
370 points, ended February 10, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Say What You Need To Say by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended April 14, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm in the mood for anything, SO GO FOR IT! by Chocoholic156.
750 points, ended April 17, 2008, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Title: 4/5- A little cliche
Venting: 40/50- You get the point across to your reader,though not as well as you could.
My Personal Like/Dislike: 5/15- Full of cliche and spelling errors.
Followed Rules: 0/20- older than one month.
Grammer/Spelling: 5/10- tense is important. If you say "I stand" you must say "I grow".
Total: 54/100
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This is a really sweet poem, I love the longing coming from the soul of it. The part that i would look at to fix is this: "Cause waiting for you make me so sick out of the rain." I think you meant to have it be "makes" instead of "make". My favorite part was teh last two lines. I love it, it is so sweet and pure, the emotion is so raw the open that I could reach out and touch it. Good job, and thanks for entering my contest.
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Title: 3/5- too long
Venting: 50/50- it works
My Personal Like/Dislike: 15/15- Beautiful pic and background
Followed Rules: 0/20- more then a month old
Grammer/Spelling: 10/10-
78/100 -
I like this...simple and deep at the same time. There is a sad longing in your lines, I stand as I grew all alone
And I make all the pieces of me.
Nicely done. Keep writing.
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now wow this is fantastic i can hear the music in this song
thank you my friend
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aww..this is such a sweet poem lol thats sounds stupid but this made tears come to my eyes this is such an awesome poem
love this part
"Wasting my time singing love songs for you.
All that I know that you'll come back to me.
Waiting for you in the rain. "
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