Here I am,
alone in the darkness,
the x-mas tree is already dead
water forgotten
here I am,
parcel wrappings all over the floor,
the parcels in the bin
names already forgotten
here I am
on the floor among rotting cookies,
cellphone silent
the battery forgotten
here I am,
looking out the window
snow entering through window
window forgotten
here i am
blue lights shining up my wall
men entering the hallway
I will be forgotten
A contest entry
- quick, easy, and has points (what more could you want) by magneticblue.
1500 points, ended January 14, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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This is such a great write. I really like the "here I am" at the start of every sentence. It makes it really powerful. WEll done and best of luck for the contest.
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I can't say I'm really into dark, emotional poems, but this isn't actually bad. You never made it SO emotional it was unbearable and it wasn't too dark of language. Your use of objects reflecting your emotions is also interesting, good job and thanks for entering. good luck.
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thank you
for the comment. I appreciated it. Have a further nice new year
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