piano man
he sits, alone
behind that old piano
beside the bar
the keys are chipped and stained with years of beer and sadness.
the peanut shells between the keys crunch and sink deeper as he plays;
into no man's land, the belly of the beast.
he gives me a sorrowful smile,
as I'm sitting on the stool, spinning a quarter.
we're two strangers, sharing in loneliness
unacquainted and unconnected but somehow pulled together
by circumstance and music.
I can't take my eyes off him and I don't know why,
as he's no looker -
old enough to be my father,
or maybe everyone's favourite uncle,
the one whose laugh you can always hear,
the laugh that will stay in your head like a song on repeat.
but tonight
the lights are glowing softly in the near-empty room
illuminating
the piano man and his piano face.
I drop my quarter in the bottle sitting on top of the piano,
ready to listen
all night
or at least until I fall asleep with my head on my folded arms.
the sounds of those chipped keys falling and
of the piano man's musical paint brush on the air
provide a flawed
albeit perfect
soundtrack to my sleep.
Author notes
Option 1: Quote
"i am going to lick peanut butter when i get out of the pool and eat butterfinger icecream when i am done french kissing frogs"
Sin City Rockette
very blatantly inspired by Billy Joel's "Piano Man."
A contest entry
- Give Me Your Best! by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Think. by Maybe Anastasia.
300 points, ended March 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES!!!!!! by Luminescence.
450 points, ended March 5, 2008, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Music! by GypsyEyes.
500 points, ended May 24, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Entertain me [freeverse] ♥ by whiterabbit..
330 points, ended June 29, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Feedback?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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oh my god is that an amazing poem!!! never have i dreamed of a poem like this entered in my contest! i love it, absolutely amazing! good luck in my contest
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I love the song Piano Man.
I can play it on the piano. Anywho, now onto the poem...
At first I was worried that this wasn't going to live up to the song... but once I got into it it was pretty good.
I like the way you provided imagery on how the piano keys looked. It's very vivid and likely. The imagery was a strong point in this.
Also the comparison to how the piano man could have been like an uncle, you went into that well without rambling off into another topic. It fit what you were saying nicely.
You seemed to have delved into more of what the piano man himself was, rather than the people in the bar. It's like a sequel to the song itself.
Great write and good luck in the contest.
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I love the title of this in context. I haven't heard the song, but he's hardly the first person to come up with the concept anyway. Not entirely original, but it's a nice, melancholy little slice of life.
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When I saw the title my first thought was Billy Joel. I love the imagery in this. It's so vivid. I can see the whole course of the evening in my head. Great write doll.
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not very dark.... may be depressing.... may be. But besides that I really like this. Its wonderful although i have never heard headrd the song piano man.
Thanks for entering and good luck
~Lumin -
very interesting. It describes that feeling fairly well! It seems to flow a little rough but other than that it's really good. Thanks for the entry.
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wow.. i loved this. i could see that he/she had a deep respect for the man. these lines i favored the most:
'..the lights are glowing softly in the near-empty room
illuminating
the piano man and his piano face.'
it had such a great flow to it. thank you for writing such a wonderful piece.
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I must say I myself adore Billy Joel's Piano Man To see such inspiration come from a wonderful song truly warms me as this is a piece with much creativity and talent shining through. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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Creative and entertaining
This is a nice piece of work...I enjoyed visualizing the place, the people, and the conditions.....It is a work of art. I particularly liked the lines....
the sounds of those chipped keys falling and
of the piano man's musical paint brush on the air
Maybe it's because I am a musician, but it's true, a musical paint brush....where the only place the peice of art lives is in the listeners mind, until the performance is done again.....and even then it won't be the same.....music and conditions go hand in hand......feelings.....people present......the weather outside......the days happenings......Music is a language, and I think you have captured this in writing....Great work!!!! -
brilliant
I love characters and you painted a brilliant one with words. I can see the Billy Joel influence here and I like it
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