You didn't get my Christmas card?
Well let me tell you true
I wrote it out, in copperplate
With verses just for you
I had it sealed and in my hand
Complete, with stamps to spare
When Mike the local Millionaire
Dropped in to cut my hair
No sooner had he finished
And bade me fond farewell
When 'Father' Rourke from Ballybourke
Presented me his bell ?
He asked if I could overhaul,
it's antiquated brass
He wanted it within the hour
He needed it for mass
When that was done, I wrapped your card
To save it from the rain
Then suddenly, my telephone…
A call from distant Spain ?
Juan Carlos spoke, and plainly asked
For 'Chicken Jubilee'
I told him "Sir, I think you want,
the local, K.F.C."
With card in hand a second time,
I strutted to the door
Unaware that giant worms
Were eating through my floor
I bought a giant Ostrich
He'd scoff them up, I thought
But not the dog, and then the cat…
I really was distraught
And then this huge tornado,
came ripping through the town
It blew me over, spun me round,
then turned me upside-down
But even through the chaos,
I held on to your card
Determined now, to post it off
It shouldn't be this hard ?!
So valiantly, I braved the storm,
Your card still in my grasp
Until a massive tidal wave
Consumed my final gasp
Perhaps you find this story strange ?
I think I should confess
I wrote your card, that part is true !
But lost your darned address
AND RIGHT BACK AT ME........
I Didn't Forget
I didnt forget your christmas card
that simply isn't true
I know you would've loved it
I picked it just for you
Its shape was sorta square-ish
the envelope quite round
I penned a verse with my own blood
... it really was profound
Trimmed in gold with diamond dust
its measurments in feet
I strapped it on and made my way
through ice and snow and sleet
I travelled hungry, sick and weak
to get it to the post
A grueling quarter mile
or maybe half at most
I swear I suffered frost bite
My snowshoes were too small
It pinched my corn and pained me so
that's when I had to crawl
It felt like 20 minutes
another second, I'd be dead
I crawled up to the counter
with a snowbank on my head
By now I was delirious
with all that I'd been through
I straightened up and ranted
and blamed it all on YOU
So, I didnt forget your christmas card
for this is it... you see
Merry f*cking Christmas
and that's to you from me
by galfalfa
Author notes
A collaboration with the one and only galfalfa
Our excuses to each other for forgetting Christmas cards. Fabulous fabulous fun Wil' Loved it, Made my Christmas
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
Nice one!
Next year send a present! it's got to be easier, thanks for the fun read.
-
Great Job
Bloody hell !! what mates do for each other ... bloody amazing and a great giggle that brightened my afternoon up for thinking of you two made me happy that you were still incommunicado .. but then being away in Oz for acoupla months I have a lotta catchin up to do.... Great stuff as usuakl and it looks like a great pairing too .... especially for poetry at least. Take care both of ya.
Barry
-
Still a class act matey....
-
Awesome Collaboration
Who writes anymore? Honestly I thought the whole world was in E-fashion to date...lol. And that I tell you is why stamps should be left in the drawer. It sounded much like my parents trip to and from school.....Up hill both ways, raining as they went and snowing as they came, unless it was summer and then the trek was longer and the heat was unbearable.
I did enjoy the humor of trying to find just a few minutes in the day to get this one thing done.
Very nicely penned on both parts, funny and just completely well rounded. Thank you both for sharing.
-
That was AWSOME!
i adored this whole poem
it was fantastic! i especially loved the last verse:
So, I didnt forget your christmas card
for this is it... you see
Merry f*cking Christmas
and that's to you from me -
-
Thanks FT.
That last stanza
Only Galfalfa could be so cwazy. Love her to bits.
So glad it made you smile
Thanks for the kind comments. Appreciate it
Cheers
-
-
Haha, this piece is hilarious. I loved all of it, particularly the last stanza
-
-
Thank you
Thanks S.
We had the most amazing day thinking up these excuses
So glad our cwaziness made you smile
Cheers
WD
-
-
Hey Bob
How FUN was this? eh? LOVED doing this with you..what laughs Oh btw, you dont need a tornado to turn you
upside down, alls it takes is a dark line
thank you
wil'
♥ ♥ ♥
-
-
Hiya
But those darks lines are deep 
The pleasure was all mine
Clappies back-atcha
Bob
♥♥♥
-
-
This is so funny, I started reading and couldn't stop. The flow is perfect and you have chosen just the right words! At first I thought " this is just a LITTLE BIT WEIRD" but really, its just plain cool! If you entered this in one of my ' enter your best pw" you'd win lol. Its fantastic! Just 1 tiny spelling mistake. I cant actually find it now, but its just one spot where you didn't use a capital I.
-
-
Thanks
BTW, thanks for pointing out the typo. I found it
Happy New Year
Cheers
-
Appreciate
Thanks JWM... High praise indeed
We just had such amazing fun doing this collab
Glad you enjoyed it too
Have a super new year
Thanks again for the great comment
WD
-
-
Since I visited this elsewhere, I felt it only fair to comment here, also. Truly worthy of the collaboration. You have both managed complementary pieces. Witty and perfect.
Thank you for sharing.
rous
-
-
Thanks E.
We had the best day ever, doing this collab. It was superb. So glad others enjoyed it too.
WD
-
-
Enjoyed it very much.
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
