you give me butterflies
way down in my
stomach,
so beautiful, i would like to
to swim in
your blood steam.
hear the loud thumping
of year heart;
(pabump-pabump-pabump)
i am not in love with you.
i am not in love.
not in love.
you give (and gave) me tummy aches,
(heartache or headaches?)
when your voice curls
through the telephone coil,
absolutely unmistakeable.
gotten rid of all the photos,
except for a few.
the scent of cinnimon, of vanilla,
of freshly dried laundry;
and baby powder.
i am not in love with you.
i am not in love.
not in love.
in love:
the butterflies, tummy aches,
headaches and heartaches.
it's not really supposed to
mean anything.
something:
relevancy, currenly,
emergency, universally.
somewhere in this
there is a reason and
a how. a correct one.
i am not in love with you.
i am not in love.
not in love.
way down in my
stomach,
so beautiful, i would like to
to swim in
your blood steam.
hear the loud thumping
of year heart;
(pabump-pabump-pabump)
i am not in love with you.
i am not in love.
not in love.
you give (and gave) me tummy aches,
(heartache or headaches?)
when your voice curls
through the telephone coil,
absolutely unmistakeable.
gotten rid of all the photos,
except for a few.
the scent of cinnimon, of vanilla,
of freshly dried laundry;
and baby powder.
i am not in love with you.
i am not in love.
not in love.
in love:
the butterflies, tummy aches,
headaches and heartaches.
it's not really supposed to
mean anything.
something:
relevancy, currenly,
emergency, universally.
somewhere in this
there is a reason and
a how. a correct one.
i am not in love with you.
i am not in love.
not in love.
Author notes
i wrote it at one o'clock in the morning, forgive me if it's not as good as usual. i'm not so sure about the use of the onomonepia, or whatever, and i hate the first stanza. and, i feel very mixed up, lately.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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i like this a lottttt. especially the in denial of being in love because honestly: tell me about itttt. and i love the part about swimming in your blood stream because dont you something feel so crazy about someone that you dont think you two could possibly be close enough, not even if you could climb under their skin? i do and i love this write more for me to read!


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thank you, ♥
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i haven't felt those butterflies in a long time. they feel so good..


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Ditto Madeleine;
You're amazing and continue to be. Please don't ever doubt that or think that I just say it because I can, because it's true.
This almost sounds like a song because of the repetition at the end of each verse, and it could be. I can just imagine the pabump's being drum beats, and the sensory details give the piece a sense of place.
I like how you say "somewhere in this there is a reason and a how...." But mostly I like what you write because mostly I can relate. Associating the scents and the visions to the person you are talking about, relaying how this person makes you feel, but reminding that you are not in love.....
You probably think I'm overthinking this but no poem can ever be overthought, really.
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i'm going to bottle up all your self-doubt and choke you with it. this is amazing. especially the second and third stanzas. i love the repetition of the ending lines. it's unusual for you, and i think thats another reason i like it. oh, i see that you hate the first stanza, which now just means that i have to prove you wrong. oh! the fucking blood stream thing! jesus christ! whats wrong with you! that's amazing!! oh, and i love the scent association in the second stanza. oh! and the relevancy, currently (typo) emergency, universally thing. that was very, very nice. lucky bitch,
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blah blah, thank you. ♥
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1 - 6 of 6





