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Yellow Days

There was never
anything magical
about Monday mornings

but as the walk way turned yellow
and I went anyways,
switches clicked
with my heels.

A collision
of minds and money
and metal.

My back was to the sky
as coffee leaked in my eyes.
It smelled like sulfur
and irony.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Cat
    January 11, 2008

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    boy this is going to be a difficult contest to judge- you have such a great use of concise imagery in this piece-

    i like the ironic smell of sulfer here- that leaves the door open for various interpretations- and the yellow walk way can be either literal or metaphorical.. yellow being the color of cowardice..

    all very interesting and wrapped in a tight package.. nicely done

    m


  • rebeka
    January 8, 2008

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    i like 'back was to the sky' , and the yellow walk way is colorful ..the third stanza is fragmented but so am i...i like it.


  • EvilKate
    January 7, 2008

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    "sulfur and irony" - what a wickedly delicious smell that must be!

    Loved this ... much more to it that a brief glance would reveal


  • sheltered
    January 1, 2008
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    This sounds like an acid trip I had once... No kidding... lol. Cool.


  • Mykeee
    December 28, 2007
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    Very vivid and clear. nicely done and good luck - Mykey


  • Danna Hobart
    December 28, 2007

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    There is a strong yet subtle Wizard of Oz feel to this one. That is not easy to accomplish. Great job.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    December 28, 2007

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    Right now I'd prefer the sickly sweet smell of napalm on the Afghan, Pakistani Border, but no, we'll simply click our political heels and hope things get better? Too tough love some say? Well ,when you run across political, or religious fanatics whom have done, and shall continue to do, murder on a global grand scale to satisfy their twisted minds, ones whom would kill you and your family without hesitation them laugh over their corpses, you too would appreciate what I am feeling.

    terrorists are like cancer cells, you can't negotiate them away, you can't make a peace treaty with them, you can't sit around and hope they go away, no, they must be hunted down as rapidly as possible and killed with no quarter given, without hesitation.

    Ask Bhutto about terrorists, go ahead, stand beside her grave and ask her if they are simple misguided people who mean well but we have annoyed them too much.

    Now THERE was a woman who had some serious balls, its too bad they're so lacking on our politicians???

  • Suzanne Dia
    December 28, 2007

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    Mmm. I love the smell of sulfur and irony on a monday morning.

    I like this

    Good luck in the contest.





1 - 9 of 9