I am absolutely sick and tired
Of never getting my way
Sure I can make myself sound
All joyous and gay
But deep down inside of me
I'm nothing like the exterior
I'm worthless, hopeless, and hateful
Nothing, nothing, nothing...
I am. Nothing.
Every day I wake up...
"Oh really??"
Yes really. I wake up- and most days
I wish I hadn't, woke up.
"Oh my, why??"
Because the whole world sucks.
"Oh- Brittany, that may be true- but remember somebody loves you"
Grandma, I don't care if God loves me.
I don't care if mom and dad loves me.
I don't care if my friends and family love me.
I want [[him]] to love me.
"Oh my sweet little baby, don't thrive on another human's lack of love- live for God"
Stop trying to shove religion down my throat.
I believe.
I believe.
I BELIEVE.
I believe, that I don't know where this little rant of a poem is going.
"Why are you so full of anger?"
Fuck if I know.
"Why are you so sad?"
Are you still my grandma?
"No, Brittany- I'm the theraputic voice inside your head."
Oh joy. That sounds wonderful.
"It is, now stop holding back- let it all go."
Let what go?
"Your feelings."
FUCK YOU.
I dont wanna talk about my feeling.
I don't wanna be in this life, at least not right now.
I'm failing at everything I do... I can't even pass a college class. I'm worthless, and stupid... and it's not even worth forming a stanza out of. I'm just so angry, oh so very angry, and today is the day when I'm telling everyone- that I don't want to be called a bitch, I don't want to be called a whine baby, I don't want to be called a pathetic loser, I just want to try to get through the days, I just want to try to live my life to the best of my ability... I just want someone to show me how to do that...
How do I live my life?
How can I make it through the night?
How can I possibly end this damn poem,
Is it even a poem?
I think I'm talking to myself again.
"No- I'm still here. You're talking to me."
But who is 'me'
The theraputic voice inside my head?
"Yes."
Well that's just great, because that's me.
Author notes
Um. I just started writing, and it got a little weird, and I'm so emotional today, I'm feeling worthless, stupid, and occasionally unloved. So I just started writing. Please, Please, Please, give me an actual comment on this- what do you think?
A contest entry
- Give Me a Poem by Marcus..
300 points, ended January 25, 2008, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes by karmacae.
700 points, ended February 14, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What the hell did I just create?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
bravo
-
Haha, very interesting. It reads like a free write in a way but has something that defies description that somehow manages to barely keep it cohesive. Unbelieveable. It left an impression.
-
that was trippy, you should write more like this
-
-
i usually can only write something like this when im really stressed out and everything just explodes- thats why i write it otherwise it could be a bad outcome.
-
-
i know whats it like not knowing what to feel it sucks. i hate when people tell me show your feelings i dont know what i am feeling its all mixed up inside it sucks.. i hate feeling this way i just want all the voices in my head to disappear and i dont like this part of my life right now i dont need it ..
i understand you sometimes i think this is why we get along even though our personaltiys dont we are both feeling the sam thing well i love you never forget it even though thats not the kind of love you or even me need but its all we got right now.. love ya
-
-
I LOVE YOU JOLENE!!!
Thanks for reading this and commenting.
Yeah, we're more alike than we would like to think, which is why sometimes we get along and others we dont.
I LOVE YOU JOLENE!!!
lol
-
-
I know how you feel. My family all say to me, 'we love you, you have no need to be upset... it's all okay.' but I want HIM to love me, the one I was with and so close to who just pulled away from me, which really hurts like hell. They say that it's okay, that things are fine and I should take my mind off and that they're all supporting me... But it's not as easy as that. I have other unresolved issues too. Bleh, I'm a mess... a total mess.
-
-
yeah they dont understand because they usually have everything they want, or else they just dont relate their pain to yours so they think they're the only ones with a bad day every day, ya know? thanks for the comment!
-
-
hahahaha.
''Every day I wake up...
"Oh really??"
Yes really.''
HAHAHAHAHA
that's me. I hate those little "intrusive thoughts" that keep interrupting my poetry
keep on writing!!!! lol. this went well.
-
-
at first that wasnt intended to be there but then thats all i could think of, so i went with it.
-
-
I like it. Being an extreme abuse survivor who supports other survivors...I would say this is great processing! Allowing it to just flow from heart to mind to fingers...getting it out of your head and into words you can see.
personally, I don't think anyone is worthless and stupid...but I can sure relate to feeling that way anyway.
I am glad that you wrote it and glad that you shared it.
Great use of dialog, too. It is an interesting tool to use. I have a whole poem that is a dialog back and forth. It can really help in getting things out.
Keep writing!
-
-
thank you i seriously appreciate the comment. its been a very long while since i just wrote- let everything out, and im glad i did this because if i hadnt, i might have done something stupid because its been on my mind a lot lately... thank you again for the comment!
-
-
wow
this was confusing but somewhat WOW.
this was very creative nd expressive.i tought it was great i loved every single line of the poem.
i like how u just kept talking and i loved the end. :I think I'm talking to myself again.
"No- I'm still here. You're talking to me."
But who is 'me'
The theraputic voice inside my head?
"Yes."
Well that's just great, because that's me.:
i also like:I'm failing at everything I do... I can't even pass a college class. I'm worthless, and stupid... and it's not even worth forming a stanza out of. I'm just so angry, oh so very angry, and today is the day when I'm telling everyone- that I don't want to be called a *bunny*, I don't want to be called a whine baby, I don't want to be called a pathetic loser, I just want to try to get through the days, I just want to try to live my life to the best of my ability... I just want someone to show me how to do that...
How do I live my life?:
i might not know u but im sure your not worthless and stupid!!
i think this was very good
steph♥♥
-
-
thank you for your very lengthy comment. it actually means a lot to me- i love the little things in life. lol but yes, thanks! if you ever need someone to read a poem, just message me. im really slow sometimes so i'll forget what im doing thats why i have people tell me to comment their poems cuz i forget what im doing half the time!
-
-
lol!
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
