Lips once saturated
in your endless kisses,
I began to gnaw at them-
trying frantically to find
your taste in flakes
of love peeled away.
But the scales
from my eyes also fell
revealing your memory
was only dead skin.
In a list
A contest entry
- parched lips by adsaige.
300 points, ended January 13, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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judged
from the first line, my inital thoughts were, this is finalist material. i love the length and lines of this, and can only say welcome to the finalist list. good-luck! -
how sad when love becomes the leftover debris of memories
falling in unfair scales of what can no longer be weighed as fair. So often I have cherished what is no more, longing for the taste of her flesh, but only realizing the salty tears of loss. Great write. ~~~Artis
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Ugh. The imagery of dead skin is stomach turning. This is a very bitter, cold peice. A nasty break?
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damn!
Again... you write a poem so provocative I can hardly find words...
I can't praise this one enough.
I love the vivid imagery.
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wow... very visual... wonderful metaphor...
"your taste in flakes
of love peeled away.
But the scales
from my eyes also fell"
these are my favorite lines of this piece... quite powerful
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Wow - How vivid was this? You write good metaphors. I'm trying to extend my thought like you did. This was
well done. Bring out the Blistex!!
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Lip balm ...
may help the lips, but only love can restore the heart. Nice write. Flowed well and expressed with an excellent choice of words.
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A Very Good Poem
This is very, very good. The images are strong and so well written. In so few words you portray so much, that takes real skill. Really well done !! I wish you All Good Luck in the contest. All my very best wishes from Rose xxx
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This is very well done. I liked the way you worded this. The imagery seemed so.. real and I could picture it easily. Sad, but beautiful. I'm going to add you to my favourites.
Well done.
HxS
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