Fred

Fred

I'm still waiting for Fred to come back,
I don't know why,
after he broke my heart

saying I love you, will you marry me?
seemed honest enough,
leaving without even a phone call,
to let me know you got there ok,
literally broke my heart

hours of waiting and hoping,
waiting for the phone to ring,
then the realization that
you had given up on me

the pain that followed,
and then a final shock;
thinking that I was pregnant,
knowing that you cared not.

finding out I was a mom
through a miscarriage,
just one more blow
of what I lost
and no longer had with you

and lastly when I thought
you could hurt me no more;
an apology letter sent to
my MOTHER, of all people.
(The one you said you
would marry if she had a twin)

And there are still times
when I think of you still
I'll see a tall man
and be reminded of you
and the addicting love I had for you

and still to this very day
12 years later I think:
Did you ever love me at all?