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My Moment in Time.

Missing image

Alone at last with time for thought,
collecting  scattered memories
of winter days, dark, cold and fraught,
warm fires with crackled blaze.


Discarded passions dust -adorned,
in shades of black and white,
in lonely moments tear drops fall
in calm of evening light.


As thoughts of seasons changing now
returns to warm the soul,
small headed Snow -Drops break the soil
reminding of summer's toil.


Comforting smells begin to rise
from smoke caked Aga's bowels,
much -kneaded bread perfumes the room,
wrapped once in floured towels.


Enveloped now in life's warm hug,
I can face the year to come,
it's as if my life returns once more
and has only just begun.

 

~~~

 

 

 

Author notes

~~~

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Sonja
    January 14, 2008

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    Good chosen title is the beginning of the nice poem full of deep feelings. It has a nice rhythm too. Congratulations for silver.
    ~Sonja~


  • micol
    January 13, 2008

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    This is an elegant tone-poem, concentrating in essence on the moment just before the dawn, the cusp of the new year and the possibility for a moment's reflection. Stanzas 3 and 4 are particularly noteworthy in their insistent sense imagery--sight, smell. The poem is technically solid, an enjoyable read throughout. Congratulations.

  • micol
    December 29, 2007
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    Thank you for the entry. It shows a solid command of imagery, rhythm, rhyme, and stanza development. Nicely done.

    A couple of suggestions:
    Perhaps the comma at the end of line 2 is unnecessary, since line 3 begins with a prepositional phrase modifying "memories"; the comma seems to break the flow of thought.

    "Return" in line three 10 should probably be singular, since the related noun ("thought") is singular; conversely, both could be made plural.

    Several compound adjectives might be clearer if hyphenated, so the reader know immediately that the words are to be read as a single unit: "dust-adorned," "small-headed," "much-kneaded."

    I very much like the idea of "kneaded" as a homophone, suggesting both "knead" and "need"; both senses fit the movement of the stanza nicely. And the reference to Snow Drops...an intriguing plant that seems to suggest life, since it appears while snow still covers the ground, and death, since it is saprophytic.

    A woefully long comment, I'm afraid, but the poem is so strong that it deserved not to be hindered by small things. I do look forward to re-reading it for the final judging.

    Best for the New Year.


    • cutiepie gold member
      December 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your suggestions and critique. I am grateful


  • wattle silver member
    December 28, 2007

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    Nothing like a cold wind and a crowd to bring you to your best. Ms Cutie you 're made of talent and you off comfort, with a smile. ---- Thank you.


    • cutiepie gold member
      December 29, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you my friend I wish you a Happy New Year to you and yours

1 - 8 of 8