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Out of Reach

Missing image

Out of Reach

Try as he may, each thought is just out of reach.
Memories inscribed on the pages of his mind
becoming as blank as the gaze in his eyes.
He tries the next page.

Strained lines on his face replace the sentences.
Pages fade with each creek of his old rocker,
memory fragments are barely visible.
Notes faded with age.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Loose Sapphic Form

Sapphic form

The first three lines, 11 syllables long, are called hendecasyllabics; the last line, only five syllables, has a name that seems designed to make up for its diminutive status: the adonic. In addition to its strict syllable count, the stanza also has a very particular meter: in the first three lines, two trochees, followed by a dactyl, followed by two more trochees; in the last, one dactyl and one trochee.

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Ellis gold member
    January 7, 2008
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    John Locke's Tabla Rasa wears out like regular paper.

    ----- 


  • micol
    December 29, 2007

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    Beautifully written, matching both the image well, especially the eyes. The poem is gentle and understanding, empathatic, especially in the starkness of the last line of stanza 1; straightforward, simple, direct, and appropriate...but at the same time chilling with its sense of bleakness and frustration.

    The metric requirements are tricky, especially in a language that does not lend itself that well to syllables and meter. But you handle it well, to the point that every word seems required by meaning and flow, not by the meter.

    Again, a gentle, stately, thought-filled piece.

    [Suggestion: I think 'creek' should be 'creak']


  • Dalaney gold member
    December 29, 2007

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    sapphic form...i like this. very much. it has a quiet way to it. slowly but surely, i want to try all these forms...you make them seem so easy to do, even tho i know they are not. you are such a beautiful writer, Amera.

    Love, lane


  • Ithica silver member
    December 29, 2007

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    That will be me! By the time I learn enough to feel like a competant poet, I will start losing my mind, and drooling down my chin (Not that I haven't and don't) Trochees and dactyl's huh? ($#+&!@$#$%#+%!$@&!$#)


  • StarEyes
    December 28, 2007

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    WOW!!!!!! I am not sure I have seen this form before, but you know, you did great with it! and the is nothing out of the ordinary for you....

    Now as far as this one goes, it is soooooo sad watching people slip away to Alzheimer's...I have seen it way too often. You really give a look at to what it is like....

    Sorry you missed the contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • plainoljoe
    December 28, 2007

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    all around me each day are people aflicted with Alzheimer's and dementia. To loose one's memory from one second to the next is a pain and confusion understood by no one save the one left to persevere

    Joe


  • BellaD
    December 28, 2007

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    Beautiful poem!

    Another beautiful read. Sapphic form is new to me. Again, I am learning alot hanging out with you. Keep writing!


  • WhisperingSpirit
    December 28, 2007

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    This is so saddly beautiful my friend.
    Amera it's sad thatwe have to forget and loose sight of things when we age. This disese is a true sad one
    Your words are wonderful


  • sunny day
    December 28, 2007

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    Amera, This is very sad as I know the effects of Alzheimer's is just so heartbreaking. To have someone forget everyone around them and that includes their wife. She keeps him going though, constant reminders of who she is and what she is to him. You did a wonderful job on this form and I can't say I'm surprised at all when it came from your pen. Thank you for sharing the gift of your illustrious pen once again with all of us. Love you my friend, Joyce


    • Amera gold member
      December 28, 2007

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      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I wrote this for Aliceinpoetry's contest but just as I clicked "post" the contest was full. The prompt was "Fading Thoughts"


  • Swan song gold member
    December 28, 2007
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    Awesome and deep This was refelctive and lovely Well done dear


  • cricketjeff gold member
    December 28, 2007

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    Amera who can rhyme at will
    And use each form to fit her mood
    With this poem gives us fill
    Of mental food

    Although I like my Sapphic odes
    To rhyme as well as scan and flow
    I'm pleased to see the other modes
    That they can show

    Your poem bathed in pathos deep
    Evokes Alzheimer's bitter taste
    Where brain is lost as though in sleep
    It's such a waste

    So though I like my rhyming light
    On subjects that cause all to smile
    It is at times all poets right
    To think awhile


  • Laura
    December 28, 2007

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    well you know by now and you know i really dont ahve a clue about forms but i will tell you this the words to this poem are utterly amazing... you certainly captured my mind with this poem you go girl xxx


  • PerVirtuous
    December 28, 2007

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    I love the sapphic form. This is a very imaginative use of the form. I love how you tell stories using forms not normally used for it. Stretching the bounds of poetry one form at a time!! Great work.

1 - 14 of 14