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Faded thoughts

I close my eyes and think of you

Tears roll down my cheeks

Drowning the fractures on my face

.

Slowly absorbing your soul with love from my heart

I close my eyes and think of you

Trying to remember the pain I felt

The anguish as I knelt on the floor and cried

Feeling guilty for each day brings

Just faded thoughts of you

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • raggyann
    December 30, 2007

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    sad and pain
    the loss of a child is a terrible loss
    the void is always there
    this is so emotional
    and you wrote it with just that
    a heart breaker
    tears and sobs


  • Harrisham Minhas
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This depicts the sadness very well.
    Wonderfully expressed.
    Congrats on the Gold.


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my this is such a sad and powerful piece. So very sad This really tugs at the heartstrings
    Thanks so much for your entry.
    Gaylene


  • poetryality silver member
    December 28, 2007

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    This is sad! I feel the emptiness, almost as if the barren womb should still hold the life it once held. The brevity is startling. It amazes me how much can be felt in so few words. I think that these emotions are often felt by women who have given birth and aborted birth. I hope I haven't said too much. I'm good for that. Sorry if I have. A very emotional writ. The best to you in the challenge.


    Much Love & Many Blessings ♥

    Renee

  • luzzyboi
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem.I love the choice of words that you have used.Well done


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely piece.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    December 28, 2007

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    wow laura this is just an amazing write it holds so much emotion and its deep and heartfelt. well done and best of luck


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    December 28, 2007

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    A very heart felt write. I can see the sadness felt in this one, mainly through the way you wrote it.

    It captures the prompt perfectly, well done.

    The added image causes you to think of a serious loss, so you did the job required.


  • Blueskywonder
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    An emotional piece expressed beautifully


  • sassylibra0074
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like it as well.


  • Demmy-Defect
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    it's cool--short, and to the point. it has a very good flow.

1 - 11 of 11