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Salt In The Wounds

Infected by the bitterness,
Of freeze-dried roses in your hair,

Frayed remains of shattered dreams,

Awake me in my distilled sleep,

My nightmare is reality,

Like a goldfish in a grinder,

Trapped and asphyxiated,

You hold me like a smoking gun,

A bomb undetonated,

Hot potato,

 Except there's no one to pass me to,

I'm running down,

My tired eyes,

My aching mind,

Time's running out,

Boom,

Author notes

It's random, so dunno if it's what you want it's just from his view. I may expand more late

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think of the poem? Be honest, but not too harsh :)

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Comments


  • SchizoChic
    April 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very good, but it seems like something is missing. Thanks for entering my contest.


    • Georgia La Mariposa
      April 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hi if you could give me a few pointers on what you think it needs I'll be more than happy to work on it for you


  • checkmate
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a powerful piece. I love the ending- it was awesome. very well penned. I could feel your emotions in every word as I read through. I can relate in a whole lot of ways.

    very well penned. great work!

    best wishes,
    char


  • Dmonik
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Another powerful piece Sis.
    Rubbing salt into the wounds is painful, and though the creator of the wound may no longer be present, the memory of them is salt enough...
    Masterful writing as always
    Good luck