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Secrets Of The Stream

Missing image
Deep on the forest floor she lays
through ferny dells her body sways,
her tinkling laughter bubbles through
beneath clear skies of cerulean blue.

She is the essence of the stream
where lover's sit and future's dream,
so many secrets reflected there
she keeps them sacred in her care.

Dressed in robes of nature's hue
through centuries her path is true,
with grace she flows along her course
to meet her lover with passion's force.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Poet of the Past
    January 15, 2008

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    Excellent

    Very nice indeed. I wonder how many things went through your head as this was written. quite a frew went through mine showing quite a few things. That is excellent.

    Michael


  • Idle Mind Wondering silver member
    January 12, 2008

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    great use of rhyme. my favorite lines:

    "so many secrets reflected there
    she keeps them sacred in her care."

    but really the whole 2nd stanza stands out as testimony to the spirit that draws so many like the photographer who captured this image.

    my one distraction was for your closing:

    while beautiful it disrupted my sense of imagery as a river does not flow to its source. Still this is minor in the emotional scheme of things

    great job.


  • Princess Perdue gold member
    January 5, 2008

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    A very beautiful take on the picture. Charming and so very enchanting with such a light and breezy feel to each stanza. Well done and good luck in the contest with this stunning beauty.

    Shaz xx


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    January 5, 2008

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    Perfect rhyme, rhythm and flow. I love rhyme. This is very very well done and wonderfully scaled to the image. I did enjoy this very much. Best of luck in this contest. Wow. This one will sit with me a bit. Thank you. ~Pamela

  • Seeking Peace silver member
    January 4, 2008

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    Oh just beautiful, your nature writes are always my favourites, you give voice to the serenity within, superb hun

    Karen


  • Everwind Rising
    December 30, 2007

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    Beautifully written. I love the ambiguous nature of the piece. It could be about a stream or it could be about a person. I like the openess for interpretation. Lovely imagery


  • sidewinder silver member
    December 29, 2007

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    mother nature in all her glory found in simple splendor!

    Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
    Bill


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    December 28, 2007

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    wow this is an amazaing write and take on the picture realy bringing it to live. well done and best of luck gran


  • Pete Greenslade gold member
    December 28, 2007

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    you write so well of every image prompt this is no exception tinkling laughter bubbles through . i like that good luck miss xx

1 - 9 of 9