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Letters to say Goodbye

 

 

Wintered language creeps through letters of lovers

and betrayals,

 

their tangible, dandelion realities scattered across

parched, tear-drenched pages -

 

visions of water-logged dreams.

Verses of death  -

 

they are fragmented perceptions,

synthetic hearts palpitated into stalemate

 

with two minutes to self-destruct,

subdued by the murky waters flooding

 

the badlands of love.

My words are all I have -

 

so I'll seal them with a red lipstick kiss

to say goodbye.

Author notes

Option #5. I think I counted fifteen titles. What an aweesome contest!!!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you really think. Criticism welcomed.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • CaliOkie silver member
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is one of the most unique things I've seen done. You are one who "thinks outside the box," as it were. I have always been interested in thinking styles as they relate to creativity. Creative people have the ability to take many disparate things and bring them together in unique ways. You seem to make the sudden jump in logic: A + B = D.

    Your poetry is perhaps a good indicator of your cognitive style. When you write it is like you can communicate in a very direct way with the reader -- like you know how they will respond to the words you use. You don't waste a lot of words building an idea, you just go right to it in a very elemental way.

    You've done something very complex with this and made it all work together.

    CaliOkie


  • CaliOkie silver member
    January 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Great idea


  • ellipsist
    January 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful!

    so, you used titles from poems you'd written during the year as lines within this poem? that's a neat concept and you connected the titles quite well, it flowed so naturally... wonderful sentiments expressed throughout, an inspiring message!


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      January 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      thank you!

      I'm glad you enjoyed. I owe all credit for inspiration to A PoeTease - for her lovely contest!


  • Swan song gold member
    January 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This danced off my tongue. Its sadness flowed into me
    like a river crystal and honest. Your poem touched me right in the softness of my soul.


  • micol
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is an outstanding cento. Even though the lines are external, they blend into a solid narrative, a full exploration of emotion.

    This kind of poem is difficult to make work; you've done an outstanding job.


  • PastelMoons gold member
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I have no criticism
    because I am in love with this piece.
    It speaks to me on a deep level,
    and I see something of myself in your
    words.
    What do I think?
    In all honesty, I believe you
    are one of the most talented writers
    I know.
    This piece like so many
    i've read ..Proves your gift!!
    Love this!
    ~Pastel


  • JohnnyD gold member
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    When it comes to love, real love, not teenage hormonal love and such, the truth is;

    Any words are mute as an expressions of such feelings, for love was meant to be expressed by the eyes, by the rapid rise and fall of the sternum, by the lightest touches of one's fingertips......by 'feeling'

    for one lingering look, one over the shoulder glance, one longing stare from a half closed door, can say more concerning love than a million words or volumes of poetry.

    I have noted in life there are those who accept, and reciprocate to those who love, and care for them, for whatever reasons, and then there are those who simply seek its attention.

    Those are the ones who shall never know love, as it was meant to be known.

    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      December 28, 2007

      Edit | Reply

      I am not certain which person I am..

      I believe I do seek attention and thrive in being worshipped by another... but at the same time, I am a very loving, selfless person when it comes to others.

      I agree that words are inept when it comes to love - for nothing can truly describe it.

      At the same time, I feel that my words are my meaning, my purpose - and they are all I have.

      Thank you for the comment.

      • JohnnyD gold member
        December 28, 2007

        Edit | Reply
        Oh, indeed your words are your meaning on AP, for there is no other way to express such on this site, or any other site. I was simply attempting to point out the difference, the real difference between words and feelings. Your words are lovely, most so, don't feel they are not of beauty and value, for they are.

        • Auburn Sunrise gold member
          December 28, 2007
          Edit | Reply

          oh I understand...

          I didn't take offense, I promise.
          I know you think that they have meaning, or else you wouldn't take the time to read and comment on them.

          I feel that writing is my purpose in life, outside of AP. I hope that my words will be read long after I am gone - that is the only thing that keeps me going.


  • Metaphorist
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, I recognized some of the titles. Very well-done. It flowed beautifully and really felt effortless. Loved it!

    Thanks for entering.

1 - 14 of 14