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Invidious Souls

Swollen eyes, crying out for more, we stand here in agony;
stitches crumbling from windows into souls no longer present.
Trying as we might to be gone from the bonds of envy,
as we cascade to mingle with the dirt we walk upon, unpleasant.
Vengeful eyes sewn shut to rid the world of those like us,
as we cry out our words are caught and thrown back towards the dust
as we trample on wishing we were as angels up in the sky,
the stitches grow tighter with each stone we add to the stack on our hearts so high.
Gripping each other, ripping each other, each loose thread that may fall
is retightened tighter than before, then those weary begin to crawl
upon each other blending in and trampling our wants to indescriminent
pieces of what our lives could have been, for the invidious way they were spent.


Author notes

envy/invidiousness

Basically, about the deadly sin envy, and what is said to happen to those guilty of it in hell. Hope you like it!

5. Green with envy

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Danna Hobart
    January 24
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering.


  • maralisa silver member
    January 13
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    a wonderful take on the promt good luck in the contestmaralisa


  • hawkeslake gold member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    This reminds me of Dante's level of hell, for some reason, with souls crawling all over each other trying to get ahead! An overwhelmingly sad picture, really, so, very well done!


  • daviscth silver member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the gold cup you have already won. I enjoyed this very much and I like the color background. Thank you for your entry and for folling my rule.


  • leander Moderators member
    January 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have found one little oopsie in the very first line:
    our -> out.

    I like the imagery you have here and the good vocabulary, as well as the way you have kind of played with different rhymeschemes here

    Thanks for yet another entry in the contest
    Leander


  • Tarja
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Another lovely piece, this time expressing envy. I liked the rhyme scheme in this one, how it goes one way and then another... very creative darling. Well thank you again for this piece! I loved it, nice description!

1 - 9 of 9