The clap of thunder roars in the sky
Everyone around me runs and hides.
I do not
For I breathe in the smell of the crisp anger
of the skies.
'Run and save your self'
One said to me
I just stood there
In the street that is gray and bare.
Taking it in
The sight of the thing.
'Why does every one run from you?'
I ask the one thats before me.
'They run from what is true
Like me and you.
They do not know
How to deal
So then they don't at all.
And that is why they run and fall.'
'Is this one of the reasons
I have this horrid flavor
That I'm forced to savor?'
A nod was all from the child
The one that stood before me.
A horrid taste from the ones
That are afraid
From the one thing that might save us all.
They might not know it
But those who have that taste
Knows what its like
To live at all
A contest entry
- "Take a sad song And make it better" by iamthebeatles.
900 points, ended January 13, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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You done a good job with your words here, you need some seperation in your stanza, to make for easier read, when you use a ? mark you are asking a question which is a also a moment of pause, and if you seperated this into more stanzas you would bring this write more to life, other than that your words used are nice.
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This is am interesting take on my theme. I really like it though, especially when you describe the taste and how all else run from it. Bravo!
good job and good luck inner painter.
*peace*


