Our whole life is wired,
plugged in when we are born,
connected to our past.
Extensions are made when growing up
Some last a lifetime, some get destroyed
by a shortcut, burned byond repair,
vanished into the dark.
They make your heart beat,
make you fall in love, feel pain,
feel sympathy, empathy, make you
laugh or cry, yell or whisper.
We all try to build in security, but never
succeeded to get a 100 percent.
Each day we plug in, plug out, so many
different directions to choose from, connecting friends,
next of kin, the unknown,
until one day we plug our wire into the last connection.
sometimes too soon,
sometimes after a lifetime,
but we all do,
eventually.
Author notes
This was my vision.
In a list
A contest entry
- Artists - Poets & Paint by poetryality.
3250 points, ended December 30, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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The second line is not in the same tense as the first. The word "is" should be followed by the word "are" to remain in the proper tense.
Same in the second stanza with the words; "are" and "got" should be "are" and "get". Also there is a typo with the word; "beyond".
A very interesting take on the art work. I see where you get your inspiration. The live wire of living is a series of "plug ins and outs". I like your illustration here poet. Thank you for this entry and I wish you the best in the comp.
Much Love ♥
Renee
HERE'S WISHING YOU AND YOURS THE HAPPIEST NEW YEAR
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Thank you so much Renee for pointing out my grammar mistakes. I'm always grateful when somebody does that. Keeps me alert next time.
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Another innovative piece of poetry with wonderful imagery and a unique view-point expressed in unusual metaphorical language. Keep up the wonderful works.
David
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Thanks for popping in my 'wired' poem and write me a lovely comment.
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I like your metaphor of comparing real life to "virtual life", the computer and all the modern devices we use. I think the metaphor could be pushed a little bit further, such as with this line:
"We all try to build in a security level, but never
succeeded to get a 100 percent."
perhaps instead, use a more "computery" term for security such as:
We each try to build a firewall, but never
succeed (tense) to get 100 percent protection.
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Thanks for your comment. Nice how people interprete written words, because a computer never crossed my mind while writing this poem, but I can truly understand why it crossed yours.
I got inspired by the way Alex Grey paints the inside of bodies.
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