His schwanz stings
Whilst he's pissing
In the snow
See it hissing
What a delight
Santa's naked tonight
Urinating in the deutsches Wunderland.
Gone away
Are the reindeer
Are they gay?
Are the elves queer?
Santa's pulling his pud
Looking zo good -
Masturbating in the deutsches Wunderland.
In the mountains Santa builds his Schneemans
And does his lovely little German dance
He's wearing a red coat and, under, no pants
You can see his balls if you get half a chance.
Later on he'll conspire
To arouse the desire
Of fairies and elves
To feel up themselves
All naked in the deutsches Wunderland.
In the meadow Santa parks his schnee-sleigh
'Cos he wants us to see his Masturbations -
We’ll have lots of fun with Santa so gay
It will get rid of all of his Constipations.
When Santa comes
It’s so exciting!
For his hot spunk
The elves are fighting!
So sing this nice song
And pull on your schlong
Coming in the deutsches Wunderland!
Author notes
Barty hopes you like his translation of famous German Christmas Carol: "Wanken und Pissen im deutschen Wunderland"
In a list
A contest entry
- Killing Santa by ----michael----.
1500 points, ended December 28, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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You, my friend, have got a sense of humor that cracks me up! Now I'm humming the damn song lmao
Stacy
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Outstanding, the meter stays so close to the original, I actually sang it. You are such a quirky little mole, Bartholomew. Rock the casbah!
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Hahahahahaha... hilarious!
Never read anything like this before!
Many have bashed Santa, but this goes to another level.
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i think its fuckin hillarious dude..
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Very random!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thats the best thing i've heard all day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
I forgot the clap.
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I have put you on my favourites list, kleiner Barty, du bist ein schoener Maulwurf, ja!
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Haha, pure genious.
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one small song for moles, one big laugh for mankind. wonderful.
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I always sang that
In the meadow we will build a snow girl
We can pull her frozen panties down -
pmsl ohhhhh this is bloody brilliant congrats on the gold trophy xxx
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This is really wonderful.
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Choice. Very choice. Good job, Barty.
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Fantastic my little furry fuckball friend. Very different to your usual illiterate crap, well done.
I think you may win a prize with this, providing I don't remember that I fucking hate rodents.
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Barty is so happy that he wins gold thing and all those points. He will think of somewhere nice to shove them.
Whhhhhhhhhheeee!
At last a victory
Not before time
Klearly. -
Moles are not rodents; they belong to the group of mammals known as 'Insectivora,' and thus are more closely related to the shrews.
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Nobody likes a smart arse. Well, I like you but stop being a smart arse! He's a smelly rodent!
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*laughs*
I can't help being a smart arse anymore than I can help being divinely beautiful and a great snogger. -
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Snog as in SNOGGO? I hope not as I beat that SNOGGO this time.
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I am NOT a rodent? Dank sei Gott! All my life, people say, 'Piss off Barty you filthy rodent!' and now I can say to them, 'Piss off yourself, I am insectovore, so up yours totally!' I am so happy about this, I have wetted me.
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What a glorious day for molekind. I shall expect kinky insectivora poetry very shortly, my dear Barty.
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