I have lost hope in myself
I don't give a shit any more
I've just gone down hill
But it won't be your blood I spill
It will be mine
After this I will never see the sun shine
It will just be dark
Well for me, not you but me
If I don't do this
I will end up being alone anyways
Don't forget depressed
I will be doing the whole fucking world a favour
Including myself
I just find it hard to be happy
Why can't I just be happy
I guess it's kind of hard when your alone
Can't even get drunk or stoned
I just don't believe in myself anymore
I got a knife, a gun and rope
Incase one of them don't work
Okie dokie
So here I am rapping this rope around my neck
And around a high place in my backyard
Under the verrander
So here I am, hanging by this rope
With a gun and knife in my hands
If anyone saw, they wouldn't understand
Anyways I'm going finish this shit early
I stabbed myself once then BANG!
I hit the floor, blood everywhere
My dogs come and try to wake me up
Licking my face, scratching my arm
After a while they realised
So they started to bark to try to alarm
Alarm everyone that something was wrong
They cried as the birds were singing a sad song
No one came
The whole time all you could hear
Were my dogs cries
A contest entry
- I am in a mood today by Debbie Hansman.
750 points, ended January 2, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - are you my elemental being? by j-ay rose.
300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Painful Desires by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1000 points, ended March 6, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Feel Again by californiagirl.
800 points, ended March 13, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain In Poetry by Jadis Blade.
450 points, ended April 11, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is pretty cliche and I didn't really think that the rhyme in parts did you any favors. Thanks for your entry and good luck!
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this is sad,
very cliche emo,
but a very good poem non the less,
good luck in the contest,
love vamp xxx -
I can't say that I particularly like this poem all that much. I don't feel that the use of foul language was of any use to your work and you also used a lot of cliche ideas. Thank you for entering my contest.
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Wow this is realy grafic, i actualy like this alot. its not ott but it is quite realistic and displays a realy good sense of human emotion and lack of care in todays world and how it can effect people. well doen to you!
i know how this feels
the dogs in the end really make a point about humanity
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Such a deep insight of emotions...I have been in that state years ago myself. I could feel everything you were expressing. It is not a good place to be...as I have said I know from personal experience.
It takes alot of strength to grab hold....and we all have that strength inside us.
This write has touched me in alot of ways.
Thank you for entering my contest and Good Luck
debbie
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