After all those times we were together
One thing I remembered when we ended it all
Was how you convinced me that you were real
Your lies were smooth and cunning
Sugar-coated with a bitter sense of reality
But I couldn't see that; I was blind
I persuaded myself to hold onto you
For just another minute crying my soul out
But I can never let you go; until now
How I managed to realize my mistakes
Of believing you all these years was a
Refreshing breath after holding it for so long
My eyes are dried, nothing's left for you
The best times were when we're not together
I'd rather choke on your lies, rather than
Admitting myself to your insanity
Author notes
"I rather choke on your lies than shed one tear because of you." Warrior-Eagle & sis
A contest entry
- Quote. by warrior-eagle.
650 points, ended January 2, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me burst out in tears with your words by KaseyL.
600 points, ended May 9, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1706 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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nice take on the quote but indeed a very nice take... I enjoyed it a lot!
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This is filled with strength. Wonderful strength. I wrote a poem kind of like this, but not completely obviously. I believe that I went through a similar situation.
This is so full of strength. Keep the strength alive! -
I really like this piece for two reasons; good subject and well written- and I have a good friend who just fell into the same realization of believing a girlfriend's lies. Thank you for entering.
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How I managed to realize my mistakes
Of believing you all these years was a
Refreshing breath after holding it for so long
I liked this stanza the most. I liked the final image it showed. Good poem, good luck in the contest.
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An excellent description of realizing love was not returned in the way that we expected. Well written on the whole, good flow and vocabulary. Two small suggestions if I may:
"But I can never let you go; until now" should read "But I could never let you go until now."
and
"The best times were when we're not together." is again confusing in tense. Perhaps "The best times were when we weren't together."
Still, a very good write. Much luck to you in the contest.
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wow!
there is so much intensity here like as if it were playing before me. I liked the last sentence in the first stanza. many a time people make themselves seem much more than they are and it hurts at the end of it.
From the fourth stanza come hope and that is beautiful. The person realizes what a fool she had been and it reminded me of "fool again" by westlife. best of wishes in all three contest!
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Very honest and nicely written...thanks for the entry.
Az
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