It's amazing
how one can write art
in your eyes;
A poem,
born from black pools
(of ink)
and words,
living the tinge
of your iris.
A contest entry
- 100 Short Prewrites by Kari.
450 points, ended March 31, 2008, 64 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 64 of 64
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wow.. this is great.. fantastic dark imagery.. very well done. this poem is very interesting and awrsome
thanks for entering my contest!
and best of luck!!
your judge,
-Lemon Bee-
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Oh Lee this si just amazing
Short, concise and so full of imagery and passion. Love it!
Came by from your Poet Of The Mopnth link Congratulations. You deserve it.
Gaylene
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Oh wow.. Now thats what I really call a talent.. To explain such deep thought in such a short poem .. I loved it leander.. and I cant say much more that would do justice to this beautiful piece of poetry..
Keep writing
Peace,
Lonely
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Beautifully written... more than deserved the gold.
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I fell in love with that last stanza this is a beautifully written poem - I like the way you have created a gently bemused tone to this poem and I just can't tell you how much I enjoyed this poem congratulations on the trophy!
♦ M
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9 lines of perfection
Beautifully written
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now this is gold pennies all the way to the bank i happen to think your artistic words are very smooth
Congrads on the cup
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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." I asked someone who studied aesthetics as philosophy and that is what she said. Here you say it too, black pools both give and take in beauty.
Congratulations for your trophy, I know how you love them!
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lol
Thank you dear Margaret
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As one that loves artwork and becomes inspired from it often I really enjoyed this piece a lot. Thanks
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Micro to Macro
Living words spring
from darkened pupil
as poem forms
in pools of ink
It's amazing, how
one can see art
in your eyes.
Your poem has a great theme
words
poem
art
seems a better order. Please excuse my tinkering, I see good potential in your work.
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ah yeah artistic elegance flowing from the mind into eyes, don't blink or it might swirl away a good poem.
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I love how you arranged this piece! Great job!
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This is a fabulous poem. Loved the flow and how it is arranged. Congrats on the Silver trophy. Since it has won a trophy now, you may want to substitute another one in this contest. I can't believe the two I have commented on have won trophies already, but it thrills me to have great talent in my contest. Please know there is nothing wrong with this wonderful entry, but it won't be entitled to win in my contest due to the rules I set forth of not have winning a trophy in another contest. Looking forward to your swapped entry.
Ted E -
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Thank you very much for the comment and for the opportunity to swap the entry
I have one just written today, for no contest so I'm going to throw that one in
thank you once again!
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Truly was my pleasure! Everyone will be granted that opportunity as I'm very fair with my contests...even the wacky ones
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Already swapped
lol 
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This is amazing and you are very talented.
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Comment by Judge
I found a group of poems in my contest that I could not categorize. Some were pretty strings of words that lead no where. A couple did some pretty skillful sneaking of sex and death into the mix when I had specifically requested none be submitted. Several left me saying “What?” or “So?” On the off chance that any of these poets want constructive comments, I am giving these constructive comments. If you can’t take that, feel free to handle it however you will.
(thanks to my degreed cohort, Mrs. Larkin)
Ok, good imagery, good presentation, what’s the point? Yes, it’s amazing. But what of it?
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Well, this is actually metaphorically speaking about my sleepless nights, because my partner snores quite loudly. Sometimes he talks, sits right up in the bed and often he just has his eyes open while still asleep... This poem was inspired by the latter - when I turned on the light to read a bit and he was just staring into my direction
Hope I made it a bit clearer
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Another Blot of Comment
I realised this moprning that by
"(of ink)"
a resevoir of ink might be implied, so I add another
for that subtlety I missed.
It also inspired me to write a poem of mine own, likening inspiration and writing to an ink-jet printer (a link I shall send under a seperate message).
MA. -
Leaving a tinge of impression. {Now and then...}
Difference is goad, they say, for only
with difference comes awareness of any
change or variation.
The love of my life was nick-named Dee-dee (I reference your Personal Page info), and were certainly different,
both from me and many.
If you were a superhero, wouldn't you wear lilac spandex? Tell the truth: wouldn't a lack of lies span heart break better than covering up? Well, with lilac spandex, you can do both!!!!
To your poem: Where you had...
A poem,
born from black pools
(of ink)
...I would have had...
A poem,
born of black pools
of ink
...or "from ink". It took me a moment to see the pupil of the iris (I was too busy "rainbow" connecting - no PVN intended- until I came to comment), and then to realise the connection therefrom to the pools of india ink.
Nice in its simplicity of conception and versification, a "poem about poems", and that I applaud. Nice how one can "write art in your" I's. ("I is", ie).
{I might have lervved to see more correspondence between the lines (line 1, stanza 1 => line 1, stanza 2 => line 1, stanza 3; and so on), butt one cant have ev'yt'ing, can one now?}
Anyway, another time.
MA.
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9pts...
Thank you for this wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
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Good food for thought. From someone else's view the things you write and then to put a twist on it what the writer actually thinks of their own. I liked it. Nicely done.
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Great conceptual poem which stirs the imagination while being ART! This word picture is a masterpiece. Well Done!
Bandits Rock!
Dennis
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I love this, excellent write
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WOW this is just amazing. So few words for such a great piece of ART. You never stop amazing me! Good luck in the contest.
Anna.
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Art itself is amazing - what people can create from thoughts in their head is amazing - the words that poets write are amazing - such talented writers - what this poem passes on to us readers. Lovely verse.
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very simple about the arts
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Very eloquent it has a silvery mercurial quality .
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This is a wonderful poem... I love the second stanza... this reminds me of the preface to Oscar Wilde's The Portrait of Dorian Gray... he has a lot to say about art... in fact, about most things... brilliant writing, captivating and enchanting
Keep writing
Polly
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This is well done. (like I am any judge lol) But I enjoyed the poem and the presentation. A work of art I say.
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Lee no matter how much I read of your work you still amaze me with metaphor after metaphor. The uniqueness of your work is astounding to say the least. I so know each time I come to read you I will be left over joyed and in awe. You say you are not a poet, well my dear pocketful of sunshine you are in fact one of the best I have had the pleasure in which to indulge. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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See I'm not a poet
You say it yourself
"You say you are not a poet, well my dear pocketful of sunshine you are in fact one of the best I have had the pleasure in which to indulge"
points at the bold part
an 'in fact one of the best I have had the pleasure in which to indulge' is quite a weird word, but it's definately not similar to poet eh 
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This is amazing, they say that everything has a beginning and an end and isn't ink wonderful, so small a thing with so much ground to cover.
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I love this, nothing to critique here, it is just perfect!
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This is nice. I've had conversations with a painter friend of mine contrasting and comparing painting with writing poetry. Each recreates the world as he or she sees it, and each provide a new way of seeing.
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This is indeed a piece of art Sweet. I especially love the second stanza. There is something mysterious in this one - the kind that is soft and intense at the same time. Happy New Year sweetie. Love and hugs, R
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Superb.
I love the phrasing in this poem, particularly the first stanza. You have penned this very well. You put so much into so few words, it is amazing. I cannot pick my ultimate favorite lines, but these are probably it:
" A poem,
born from black pools
(of ink)"
It is just genius.
Thank you for entering and congrats on making finalists.
Happy New Year!
kate-flamingo
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8.5-9 (judging on scale of 1-10)
nice work. personally i loved the phrasing in the first stanza the best, very well-written. -
thy words smile as it forms imagery within the mind where it finds solace within the heart!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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wow
so delicately said in such few words - your description of art gets me lost for words
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Thank you very much
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well done! I feel myself getting lost in the memory eyes I have gazed in.
Ken
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Some fabulous imagery here.
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Thank you for the comment
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Poetry is an art form; and this does the entire genre justice.
Well done, Leander.
Talk to you later! -
this one has some definite moments... kind of a mini poem though.
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I like the thought of writing art in someone's eyes.
The black pool, you call it ink, I see it as dark eyes...yeah, I make my own poem from your poem, I put it in mind and no, you can't change it
You keep on saying that your muse abandoned you, maybe she is only around in the nights, that is when you should thank Jovy to keep you awake and writing
Thanks lieveling for giving me a piece of your night
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Well, tha black pool of ink was rather a tiny metaphor to the... well, I don't know the proper English word (nor Dutch
) for it, but it's in reference to the black thing inside the iris
Anywho, I know you won't change your mind about it - stubborn mommer you but though to clear it up anyway
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The poem is in the eye. I know I've seen finality in the eye before, and of course death, so it's good to see love, or inspiration (if you didn't mean it quite that far.)
As far as near sleep, I've yet to write anything coherent, sadly, much of it I've posted here on AP, lol.
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I do things like this when I can't sleep... some of my best poetry is written behind closes eyelids in the middle of the night. And then I fall asleep... but come morning, damned if I can remember what was written behind those closed eyes. All I remember is that it was something profound and witty.
So now you know why my best poetry is yet to be seen by other humans
Now yours on the other hand, is true poetry of the written word and mind, asleep or awake. A superb poem
Good luck in the contest
Dee
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amazing imagery, its a complete image, lika circle, you bring it all back home.
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Thank you very much
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Love this poem... it writes art in my eyes too. I agree with Diana, so many layers here to peel back and enjoy. Wonderful work!!
~ Nicolette
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Thank you dear friend
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So many layers can be found in this poem, and so much beauty. I love it.
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Thank you very much for the kind comment
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