Slumbering, like being suspended in dusk
You dream in sensuality
Awake to senses despite
Your unknowing behavior
My gruesome delight!
I can see you inside and taste of your lust
Come to me now, you simply must.
Tonight we dine among necro-life
Drink of me, receive, and be mine
Ignore the symphonies of your company
For they can not please you, such... bourgeoisie.
Fondled in white, blowing so light
My heart, cold as blackest night
Flutters... near her beauty in sight
We ache eternal for thee and beating life.
Alas! she comes succumbed by me
Her warmth approaching, but can we be?
I’ve longed for this since life dismissed
Waiting through the ages for our first kiss
Leaning in to caress her flesh
A fingernail upon sullen cheek
Sunken in seconds, the skin recedes
Unbearable to think I bring you disease
I fall to my knees and while at her feet
A promise
My release.
Incapable, incurable
My selfishness I kill
Not you, my love
That wish of mine I can’t fulfill.
And I won’t make you trek so lightly dressed
The miles from which you just transgressed
So in my arms you go, breast to breast
I cock my head to the curvature of your neck.
I desire (your everything) but more importantly
For you to escape all suffering.
I could’ve taken it from you
(Forever and a day)
But the pang I would’ve caused others by taking you away
Is one of many reasons I just can’t let you stay.
Love for me is buried deep
With lascivious nightmares
In cavernous keep.
As I keep you... my would be lover
Locked within immortal vacuity
Your fallen angel watching, protecting...
... thee
Forever and ever.
.
So slumber... like being suspended in dusk
And live on, unaware my mistress vamp
For everywhere you go I’ll be in tow
And in every shadow we’ll hold hands.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Chivalry... is dead, after all.
By: Jaye Eryk
Copyright ©2007
Author notes
Those who read me know I write unconventionally, however in this instance I'll explain the intentional poetic 'mishap'. The title character is directing his thoughts to both the girl and himself (introspection or a diary perhaps). The train of thought reads broken because it often is when one talks to themselves.
A contest entry
- Vampires, Werewolves, Fairies, Etc... by SchizoChic.
425 points, ended September 29, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Non-monosyllabic comments welcomed
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Well done
This put me in a trance-like state, and I pictured how people do talk to themselves a lot. It's often bittersweet and I loved how you captured that here. Good job.
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I really like this. It's unique and interesting. Good luck and thanks for entering!
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I would have sworn I'd commented on this before, but it seems I have not. So, anyway... I love it. It's just brilliant. I agree with the below comment that this would make a great song. Put it to music! It's just fabulous. I think you are a great poet based solely on this one piece. Best of luck in the contest.
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This would Make A Great Song!
Have you ever thought about turning this into a song, because it was GORGEOUS! I loved it! Thank you for entering my contest! This has wonderful rhyme, and I usually hate poems that Ryhme. Thank you so much for adding this to my contest! -
I liked this lines:My heart, cold as blackest night
Flutters near her beauty in sight
We ache eternal for thee and beating life.
very intese...enjoyable
thanks for entering and good luck
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"And in every shadow we’ll hold hands"
Such a refreshing twist on the tired vampyrism genre. I believe you could work wonders with any muse, prompt, or inspiration thrown at you. It is as if you take the half-assed and wilted attempts of others and dismember them, reshaping them into works of true art, delectable and so very passionate. Extremely well-written!
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Wow...this must have been some dinner...And with the mistress of Vamp it for sure must have ended great for you
I think I will invite her too for once...having a dinner togetherMaybe I invite you too
I’ve longed for this, since life dismissed
Waiting through ages, for our first kiss
Again you did it...wanting me to read more and more...
XXJeannette
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Well I'm making an effort...
Second and third stanza kind of triggered me...If you don't get what I mean then don't bother asking because I don't feel like explaining any more than that. Stanzas seven and eight I really liked it I don't even have a clue on how to explain how it made me feel. I just liked it. It just sounds so charming...hmm I'm not exactly sure if that's the word I was looking for... :/ Stanza 10 omg! I can't do this!!! Well I like stanza 10. hehe.
well anyways I give up.
i tried.
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"necro-life"
I won't pretend. I have no idea what necro means. Still, I like the way it sounds!
"My selfishness I kill"
If only we could actually do this in real life! I loved this line. =)
"As I keep you... my would be lover
Locked within immortal vacuity
Your fallen angel watching, protecting..."
Immortal vacuity--well, that was just a way cooler way to say empty. I love the way you use some seriously impressive vocabulary w/o making me feel patronized. =)
The ending, "Chivalry...is dead, after all" is such a contrast to the rest of the poem because of how bluntly stated it is. At the risk of entering what we may call caveman speech, "Me likey". =)
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"Leaning in to caress your flesh
A fingernail upon sullen cheek
Sunken in seconds, the skin recedes
Unbearable to think I bring her disease" I love that stanza! There were a lot of great parts in there but I'm a lazy bum and don't want to count down to which stanzas they were. And I'm also too lazy to copy another line. hehe. Sorry.
It was a really great poem though! Good luck in the contest! ( =
<3
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i lovelovelove everything about this write.
your ability to use used to form sentences and stanzas capable of blowing my mind away is absolutely impeccable.
"chivalry.. is dead, after all."
ohh man, you rock my world.'
every.single.time
<3
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the final two lines, they will stick with me long after I have read this, like a bad taste in my mouth, which, in this case, is a good thing, at least sort of - this is a real thought provoker!
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As I keep you.. my would be lover
locked within immortal vacuity
Your fallen angel watching, protecting...
... thee
These lines stood out to me the most, trapped by the immortal vacuity...lack of meaning in such a vast emptiness, yet...this is filled with emotional meaning, a desire to touch even if it is only in shadow.
Protection from the one who desires her the most.
"Unbearable to think I bring her disease"
I can't tell you how often I have thought that what I carry with me, is far worse than any disease, as always your words bring me to that place...I will never escape, and perhaps I am not meant to.
Great Writing...and yet another bookmarked page.
~B.
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........excellent.
love, lane
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