I see him laying low upon the earth
laughter in his eyes not a moment left of merth
He crouches low and eyes me
I am not one for spying
games and tricks i shall play
running about in every way
He looks deep into my eyes
now I see there's no disguise
he falls to his knees
with a sigh he's eager to please
Not to tease and not to poke
not to prod nor to loose a joke
his eyes are very deep,
Minutes pass and we weep
every word he says, I believe
and in everything he could conceive
his hands held in mine
we sing as we climb our vine.
who is this about?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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A good continuation
of what you started. A different form here with the rhyming, which is an art in itself. Most is pretty fair but a few are a little forced. Might want to work a mite on that. Keep going though.
Paul
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smiles found in young love touches where smiles and kisses are found within the dawn!
Keep penningon one stroke at a time!
Bill
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thank you oh dear Bill, it is much appreciated.
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I think I will have another reaponse to it by morning
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Yeah it achieves that very well I just worded it differently. I think that it might need a continuation from after the vine, but I think you left the opening on perpose hmm?
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will you write the continuation?
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yeah
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Just fantastic
Good I like how you continued the seen and went into my narrators character. It seems both sad and happy and very emotional in alot of ways.
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it was ment to be playful, yet serious
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