Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

The Crow's Son

A ragged boy

With a phantom's face

Whose bones asked for more.

 


With no stock mother

She died at his birth

But a stock father

Who cut some of his flesh.

 


And his blood

Hadn't stopped bleeding

Like the Nile

That slaves would know.

 


He left home-

Castration anxiety

And Bible verses

Fresh in his head.

 


That stolen book

His ancestors',

Used to kill him
By Europeans

Who hated magic.

 


He ran away-

Became a thief

Became a crook

Learned the pockets of London.

 


Developed a love of bacon

And a hatred of pigs-

Eventually- he started

His own ring. They flooded to him.



They all wanted more

With London accents

No heroes. This wasn't Hollywood

Or story books. It was real life.

 


One night, his crow crowed

And he dreamt of ghosts

A bony finger- pointing to his grave.



They cared too much

Or not enough. This graveyard

Had no words like stories do.

Author notes

Inspired (of course) by 'Oliver Twist', but also by lines from the 'Merchant of Venice' and the dream sequence is inspired by the end of 'A Christmas Carol'.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • BearWoman gold member
    April 27
    Edit | Reply
    Enjoyed very much.


  • Eyecberg
    January 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is the first of yours that I have read, but to be sure it is not the last. I like the combining of stories here, retelling a familiar tale.

    Bravo Pozo,


    Eyec


  • -amykins-
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this, a progression, a point, a piece of interest. And well written. Job well done I'd say! xx


  • catz Moderators member
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Superb !!

    The very first lines drew me in... I was hopelessly hooked from that point on.  You've written a superb piece here, pozo and I'm very impresseed.  You've tied in the three stories you mentioned, with skill and effortlessly carried it all through the entire piece.

    I think this is one of your best writes Smile

    great job

     Mom


  • Une Amie Imaginaire
    December 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like the story effect.
    Especially the ending.
    It leaves a power punch.
    "Whose bones asked for more."
    Is probably my favorite line.
    It flows well. =]

1 - 5 of 5