Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
 

the formative years

 

 

 

 

 

i saw the casket of jfk

drawn down
pennsylvania avenue

small and grey
on the rabbit-eared tv


heard talk
about a bomb
that burns everything

imagined

i'd one day stand
in the rice paddies  
of vietnam

or lie 

in a narrow bed
of the madhouse
that held my father

the mind
like the rest of the body
does not need
to remind itself
of pain
or fear for long

it grows quickly numb

but morning comes
brilliant and disarming
and too soon
we believe again

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Jaden silver member
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, certain images get burned into memory . . . and yet at the same time we become selective, choosing not to dwell on the negative. Good poem.

  • Arzab
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    There was very powerful imagery in this piece. It made me think of the '60s with the parts of Kennedy and the Vietnam war. There can be much pain brought to the world in life, but I think if people try to stay positive and try to change the world for the better, maybe people can renew their hope for life again. Keep writing.


  • Utok Bulinaw
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is actually educating for me as I come from another country but I've seen documentaries that show some of the US history and I've heard stories about the Vietnam war from people I met when I came here. The fear, numbness and hope is perfectly woven into this one. Brilliant poetry.

  • ecrivain01 silver member
    January 5

    Edit | Reply

    Well, now ...

    this is a very powerful and poignant write. I think the only off note is the last line, which seems to counterpoint the rest of this. Perhaps I'm misreading the intent though. I'm down the a bad cold, and don't feel like doing anything else, so I'm going through entries in my contests. I'm about burned out with the sheer weight of numbers.

    Anyway, good job I'd say.


  • Soulful Woman
    January 2
    Edit | Reply
    You took me back to times that I can remember so well. They were memories of a world that we enter into whenever we feel the need to catch the past and feel it. It doesnt seem that long ago..but it was.. Thank you for the trip down memory lane and for the check on reality.
    Soulful Woman


  • Gratitude
    December 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love the last stanza and the kick in the face that is "or lie/in a narrow bed/of the mad house/that held my father" Makes me wonder what else happened in childhood...

  • Namita silver member
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful. the last stanza is wonderfully done. overall great work.


  • BrokenAngel24
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    dawn shines light where we prefer to keep dark. Good wording I like your reference to the rice paddies of Nam. Look forward to more as always
    ~BrokenAngel~


  • account disabled
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I hate mornings for that reason
    that's why I prefer to go to bed at dawn
    or raise somnambulism to the rank of art
    when I stumble towards work




  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply


    the way you manage to work hope into sadness and fear is really amazing.

    like this a lot.


  • poetryality silver member
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I remember that flag draped casket. That of JFK, MLK, RFK, and too many more to list. There is a melancholy feel to this but the ending brings again the light. My dad fought in WWII and Korea. I have his Army raincoat from WWII. I smell it sometimes, it makes me know he's near. A very nostalgic poem here AJ. Makes me miss those who have passed on.


    Much Love & Many Blessings ♥

    HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU & YOURS

    Renee


  • Zayra Yves
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem Al. I like the images from the past being woven in with today...and the brevity of it all.


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    too soon.... we believe again...

    how rich that is... it's like a little ball of sweet and sour hope.. like the sun when it comes up sparkling ..yellow white in some lavender sky.. so beautiful it hurts to look at..

    sometimes I think the greatest pain, is not our ability to be wounded really, or remember, but to hope, as nothing smashes as well as that ... except perhaps.. crystal..


  • ca ne fait rien
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It is so easy to sound glib with the stock phrases of commentary on poems here. This is one of those poems that seems effortless and has the reader (this one anyway) holding breath with empathy. Maybe it was effortless in the final writing, that is the tragedy of it all.

    "or lie

    in a narrow bed
    of the madhouse
    that held my father "

    This, on so many levels is superb writing. It is also the best definition of history I have probably ever read.


  • Rowan gold member
    December 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    had to come read this sober. lol. Yup, I love it.

  • NurseChilly gold member
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a piece of history here Al... so brilliantly told and with an expertise of wise words and feelings..

    a master of concise plumery....


  • mantis180
    December 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is... sadly beautiful.


  • Nicolette gold member
    December 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I remember this too, and of course little John saluting his father... Just the previous year South Africa's premier was assassinated too. Wonderful poetry, Al - the last stanza is amazing...

    ~ Nicolette


  • Rowan gold member
    December 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I loved S1 and S2
    S5, I felt, could lose a the, but what do I know? lol.
    All of it's poetry. loved this al.


  • Cat gold member
    December 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    now you're down to 11-

    i'm counting

    m


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    December 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "it grows quickly numb

    but morning comes
    brilliant and disarming
    and too soon
    we believe again"


    Two words: terse brilliance. I to remember seeing JFK's funeral on a rabbit eared TV, and the first moon landing as well as a number of other significant events, but that last stanza...touched me deeply. Thank you AJ, you are one of the few poets on this site that I truly admire.


    Blessings my friend,
    MJ. Donnelly


    • AJ Morelli gold member
      December 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks so much for that MJ, that means a lot to me



      al
1 - 24 of 24