You were never there to share my sorrow.
You were never there to share my joy.
You were never there to share my love.
You were never there to share my hate.
You were never there to share my time .
You were never there to share my mind.
You were never there to share my laughter.
Your distance blew my mind.
Author notes
pain in poetry
A contest entry
- Father of Mine by Memoirs of a Girl.
425 points, ended January 8, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THE BEST YOU CAN DO! please enter... :) by LilMrsAttitude.
1600 points, ended March 30, 2008, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything go's-for people who do not have gold trophy's by Stormy Days.
450 points, ended January 29, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #52 Turning bronze to gold by daviscth.
300 points, ended March 5, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain In Poetry by Jadis Blade.
450 points, ended April 11, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Worthy of Gold by Virgoan.
900 points, ended April 17, 2008, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I can feel the pain and how it affects us. We are vulnerable and with this poem I remember my freshman write 'question of questions'.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
HENSLEY
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Nice job. I see why this won bronze and I would like to see the silver and gold. I may just go take a peek later on.
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Sometimes repetition is very annoying but it worked well for this poem. Thank you for sharing this with the group.
animated
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I can so relate to these statements and sentiments. Great job on snagging the bronze1 Good luck in the other contests, I hope you get gold for your effort.
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Some fathers are not there for anything - all up to the mother to raise the kids. Such a sad poem; one feels the pain that the child felt growing up when the father was never there for any of the things that mattered.
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congrats on the bronze. This write speakes volumes and I relate ... thanks for sharing with the library
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Wonderful job!
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Sad yet seems such an honest write of how a distant love misses so much by being a part of everyday life
Well done x
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pretty
I really like this, its pretty! yay poem! hugs poem! -
nice write
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this is good I love the last line the most but the whole poem has a really amsome touch to it
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I would love to comment further on your piece, however not all rules were followed. Please correct to avoid disqualification. Thank you.
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Youch! I can feel great pains in your love for your father despite the distance. I can imagine how you feel, having been there. Sometimes choices and decisions are made that are not quite what are our ideals but one way or another as humans we have to find resources to carry on. I do not know your circumstance but as an adult myself, and having seen various situations people find themselves in, I think i can now understand the reasons a little more. I hope you find your peace of the situation too!
You write well.
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in its brevity this piece speaks volumes of love and hate and wishing and wanting and wondering, well done
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Very powerful use of words and the form of the poem seems to add to that.
On the last line, the word needs to be "your".
Great write and thanks for entering!
~Memoirs
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good
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I hope he's there to get this message.
You did a great job in expressing the hurt and the regret.
Amazing though that his absence could still leave destruction.
Best of luck in the contest.
Adding your comment:
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