Water falls across moss and stone,
Gentle mist rising beneath bended bough,
Heavy-laden with growing green,
I toss and turn in my dream.
Placing hand and foot on soaking stone,
Climbing down to pool below,
Where mist is wept from gentle falls,
Tender beauty,
I stand beside still waters,
And see your face in this clear pool,
Beneath bough of green and darkened loam…
Dreaming next to gently falling water,
To a fey glen my lady calls me home…
A contest entry
- River Lady (Image Inspired) by Idle Mind Wondering.
1500 points, ended January 12, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Respect is asked for, given and understood... :)
Comments
-
This is a great take on the image, loved the imagery.
I would have liked to have seen synonyms found for gentle as its repetition was distracting.
good effort
-
-
A greatly helpful critique....
To those reading this, I have taken his advice and changed the second occurance of "gentle" to "tender."
-
Adding your comment:
