Your eyes are all glassy
And there’s sorrow inside.
We asked you if you were okay
But instead you lied.
**
We could tell something was up
But you simply denied.
We asked what was wrong
But instead you lied.
**
You were sick of us asking
So you merely sighed.
We were going to ask you
But instead you lied.
**
Your eyes are all glassy
And there’s sorrow inside.
We asked if you were fine
But instead you cried.
A contest entry
- To Everyone Lacking Awards by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended March 5, 2008, 61 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tired of HM's (X) by PatheticKt.
550 points, ended August 26, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Share your poems with me by trekkergirl.
550 points, ended November 6, 2008, 174 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is a nice little poem. I like the repeating it worked for this poem very well. You also used words and rhyming that flowed very well. All in all I liked this poem. Thanks for entering my contest.
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Aww, such a write this is
I like how at first the persona is/are sick of the person they're concern about keeps lying and then the ending is he/she crying- great touch to this piece ^^
Not much to say here even the repetitions didn't bug me
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Grea rhyming grreta floow overall an amazing write. You might wanna work on your vocabulary, not so norm.
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This is one of my faves of all your poems, I love it.
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