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When can I be released?

The job I perform
is perpetual.
For centuries the world has needed
all the love that I can give.

For every friend
with a broken heart -
I give of myself.
Trying to mend what has been broken.

The quicksand
doesn't stop.
Every day someone else tastes the dirt
as I hold their hand and whisper.

God's gift is my name.
God's gift is love.
I can never stop.
When can I be released?

A contest entry

Critique away - I'm new at this so anything is helpful.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • individuality gold member
    June 4, 2008

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    a good poem penned, i am thinking with the god's gift name, grace. a nice light feel even though there is some darker imagery presented in the piece.


  • Naridill
    January 13, 2008

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    I really don't like the end stanza but minus that - this is beautiful and stunning. The imagery is captivating.

    Thanks for entering.


  • Michael A. de Melo
    December 29, 2007

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    You may be new to this, but you have summed up the soul of a poet in a single phrase.

    "I give of myself.
    Trying to mend what has been broken."

    We as poets do not experience any more or less than any other person, rather we struggle to put those experiences into words that others can identify wth and relate to. This is a beautiful poem and I can find no fault in it.

    • Fragmented
      December 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the compliment and for inspiration to keep writing! =)


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    December 29, 2007

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    God's gift is my name.
    God's gift is love.
    I can never stop.
    When can I be released?

    I love the yearning of the soul described in the every word of this wonderful verse..well done...

    • Fragmented
      December 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      And yearn it does... Thank you for having this contest and for the compliment! =)

1 - 6 of 6