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A Christmas Runaway

Its been a month since I ran away.
A month since I have changed my clothes,
Or eaten a bit of food.
Yet here I am with a smile on my face,
And a guy that half way cares.

Were broke and hungry.
Lost and forgotten.
We are two little runaways,
Seeking comfort in the other.

He smiles at me as I cough.
He knows the way I feel,
So in silence we sit.
Until finally he whispers,
I will keep you safe.

So here I am left hoping.
Hoping he will help and I will live.
Praying the cops don't find me.
Wishing for a little bit of food.
And staring at a beautiful guy who cares.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Father G 23
    January 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    i

    miss you


  • georgie
    December 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    im sorry but i dont believe this one... im less than 80lb and thats from eating a lot less than nothing. and as for christmas runaway? you said you did it a month ago. a beautiful poem but unbelievable.
    hugs,
    georgie,
    xxx

  • mmook
    December 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for sharing

  • Francis Vincent
    December 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very good

    What is your your first impression?
    "Its been a month since I ran away."
    a lost child
    superb imagery
    clothes, food, smile, half cares, silence, hoping,whispers, safe, praying - keywords
    each one adds such value to the work, line
    a lot is what's not there
    true love 4ever" lovers"
    lost, hungry, dirty, broke
    but
    in each others arms
    "We are two little runaways,"
    what a great line
    i mean, this is 2 lives that are , like, nowhere
    and
    she, by her own admission
    "Yet here I am with a smile on my face,
    And a guy that half way cares."
    is she an abused child, a challenged child, etc
    for accepting an existence
    instead of working at home to better her grades, relationships, friendships, etc
    and does she think of the jeopardy she has placed herself in?
    mo, she feels secure, even though she is homeless, broke, etc
    but doesn't sense she is in a void, trapping of life
    "a guy who half cares"
    who
    "Until finally he whispers,
    I will keep you safe."
    although a short work, such a story, theme, protagonist, etc
    the beauty comes in the timeline,
    she has grown in spirit
    praying, hoping, and
    "And staring at a beautiful guy who cares."
    spectacular verse