Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Sweet Remembrance

Sweet Remembrance of better times
Where all was Lost in the World of Rhymes
To Be or not to be
To see or not to See.

Seeing is believing but
in believing is one not seeing?
Why the questions of this place?
When the answers are always staring us in the face

One, Two, tis time tis done
But in that time we serve only one
With each year that passes
we move even slower like molasses

Trying to find the truth in the lies
to look closely and see why they severed the ties
To look beyond the empires that be jaded
and all of the wrists that are overrated.

To See or not to see
To be or not to Be
All was Lost in the World of Rhymes
with a Sweet Remembrance of Better times.

A contest entry

What do you think of the last stanza?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Sinnastarr silver member
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was a good write. I enjoyed the concept here very much. Also the rhyme scheme was quite efective. You painted a good picture here.
    Well done. Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck.


  • Lute
    December 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    content 6.9
    vocabulary 8
    accuracy 7.4
    creativity 7
    theme 7
    originality 7

    totals-43.3


  • Hiddenspaces
    December 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i will say...you can rhyme naturally...something I'm envious of....lol...just joking babe...but you do have talent.The second stanza is my favorite...i can see a meaning in the third stanza that i dont know if you meant it...talk about it later.good job though..didnt see any spelling mistakes..and i loved the reversal of the first stanza.
    kudos and 's,
    B.


    • BittersweetMemories
      December 25, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      *i figured out how to work the spell check thing lol*... I'm glad you like it.. i think it's a great piece i'm happy with it.. if only you knew how hard it is to ryhme off the top of my head lol


      • Hiddenspaces
        December 25, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        hahaha....lol...oh i know how hard it is to rhyme off the top off your head...and i cant do it for a flip...in fact any rhyming that is one off my poems is either a mistake or an accident...so thats why i admire that you can do it.

1 - 6 of 6