So as I'm reading poems on the Web
I come across a poem that seems as though it said
The shit about abortion, the shit before your eyes
You don't know shit, you assholes.
Fuck you, and fuck your lies.
For you don't know what's in her head
You don't know the sound
The frantic anguished sobbing of a mother's child dead
The unforgiving feeling of a self inflicted wound
How do you know why she's killed her own child?
You do not know there's a choice.
In a life where the choices aren't right
I've chosen the one that hurts the least life
I've chosen the choice where one less is made
To live in a world destroyed by my age.
And I will cry forever for the choice I had to make
I do not understand the greed behind
the choice I had to make.
A contest entry
- Abortion. by DAMSELx.
450 points, ended June 15, 2008, 38 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
This poem is VERY powerful. There is so much passion and anguish behind every word, almost like you must justify what was done but live with the pain of your hard decision every day. To me, summed up, this poem says: Don't judge others for their choices because you never know what pain and hard decisions lie behind them.
Thank you so much for this entry,
--DAMSELx
-
The profanity makes it powerful; yet a little um, not good for 12 year old eyes. >___> Then again I did have the choice of clicking or not; I was just too curious.
Good though, I can understand your perspective. -
okay
I love the strength of your conviction. I hate that you undermined the entire thing by stating that you, yourself do not know the reason that you did exactly what you are defending under the pretense of accusers not knowing what reason the person could have. Don't get me wrong, I very much agree with your ultimate point. It is a decision that should not be made as lightly as some do, granted, but it should be a matter of choice, as well, including the weighing of values of perceived happiness. If you do choose to retain such exact wording , I would definitely suggest tieing up the first thought with some examples of why a person could do such a thing under reasonable circumstances, if, indeed, you are trying to reason with the seemingly unreasonable. I would then separate the last sentence, at least, so that the focus could shift from making a point regarding the reasons why such could be done compassionately, moving to the fact that you did such under circumstances that you deemed appropriate, and that it was not a decision you made lightly and that it does weigh upon but that you are ultimately satisfied with your decision, if, indeed you were trying to portray yourself as an authority on the defense of such due to your mature sense of responsibility when grappling with such a difficult decision and that it was not done callously. Just a suggestion on how to avoid undermining your valid argument. Adieu. -
honestly thins poem confused me a little bit. I love the power of it though. I know you know what your talking about.
Adding your comment:
